Crazy Quotes For A Crazy World!

 

We scour the planet for crazy news…

And go around it! with….

The Crazy News: Quick Quotes.

Holland

“We saw something bobbing about in the sea and we decided to take it out of the water.”

Workers from a drinks stall in the Dutch resort of Zandvoort tell a tall tale about a giant Lego man that washed up on the beach.

You can even buy one of these ridiculously oversized Lego men on eBay right now! Bidding at 80 bucks US.

Germany

“In the countryside we’re used to people going at police with muck spreaders, but this was something else.”

A police spokesman discusses how a crazed farmer used his tractor and a muck spreader to ram and spray squad cars, and eluding capture for seven hours by hiding in the nearby woods, he was finally arrested by an elite police unit.

India

“Sindhudurg has the lowest decadal population growth rate of 4. Our aim is to reduce the decadal population growth rate by at least by 10 by 2010.”

Authoriies in the Indian State of Maharashtra are taking desperate measure to curb massive populating growth, offering a 5000-rupee “honeymoon package” to any couple who delays the birth of their first child by two years, and a 7500-rupee package if they can hold off for three years.

UK

“The noise just went on and on. Not for weeks but for months.”

Neighbours of Diane Duffin from Leeds, England, complain about the inccessant and very loud playing of country and western hits like 9 to 5 and Stand By Your Man at all hours of the day and night. Oh the humanity!

USA

“I know what I did was wrong.”

A Catholic priest from a small town in Colorado confesses to police about the naked late night jogging he had been doing. He had been running nude at a high school track and didn’t think anyone would be around at that time of day, but was apprehended by an off duty officer with no sense of humour.

Columbia

“It was the way he moved, the shape of the hair he was using, all of this prompted suspicions.”

A regional police chief talks about the arrest of a man dressed as a woman, who was posing as the wife of another man in an attempt to allude the authorites. He was wanted for murder and “planning terrorist acts against the security forces.” ¡Ahora, eso está loco!

And that was yet another crazy edition of, The Crazy News: Quick Quotes…..

I need a breather after that!

Go on, tell the world!

The meaning of sex: It’s lust stupid! Or is it?

 

You’re all crazy!

Ask yourself this highly philosophical question…

Why do we have sex?

Is it for the procreation of the species? Is it because everyone else is doing it?

Or is it because ‘it feels goooood?

Well someone has taken the time to get to the bottom of this; researchers from the University of Texas and elsewhere in the US have had sex on the brain for quite some time now.

Teams of Psychologists have come up with some new studies on sexual behaviour, finding that the ‘hormone pumping’ young get their freak on for all the same reasons… “I was attracted to the person, ” But when it came to the older demorgaphics they do it “for all sorts of reasons”.

In a compilation from 237 reasons for sex, answers ranged from “The person smelled nice” to “I wanted to burn calories”, “I wanted to get out of doing something, and “‘I wanted to give someone else an STD”.

How can a woman get a man to take off his clothes? Ask him.

In all the list compiled from questions asked of hundreds of people, which was then given to college aged students, and that study concluded that ’20 of the top 25 reasons given for having sex were the same for men and women.’

Wacky reasons young people had sex included, “someone offered me money to do it,” “I felt sorry for the person,” “I wanted to punish myself” and, “Because of a bet.”

The findings can be found in the August issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior, published by the International Academy of Sex Research.

More interesting reading on this crazy topic from the New York Times.

And won’t someone feel sorry for me….?

Other hilarious reasons for having sex include;

13. I wanted to improve my sexual skills. 34. I was curious about my sexual abilities.  41. The person was a good dancer. . 65. I wanted to relieve ‘‘blue balls.’’ 90. I wanted to gain access to that person’s friend. 110. The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of them. 119. The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her. 181. I felt like it was my duty. 7. I was ‘‘horny.’’

See the full ‘periodic table of why we have sex’ list HERE!

Or you can read the entire 31 page journal report HERE!

Or just talk about the list, here. Like right here. 

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Life sucks being the real Harry Potter, as school teacher ruins the party!

    “Harry who?”

In the classic 1999 movie Office Space there is a character named Michael Bolton, a situation with hilarious consequences.

But in real life it sure would suck sharing the same name with someone well known.

Particularly if that someone is a fictional character, a character so popular that you couldn’t escape being asked the same question by almost everyone you met.

It might even be so bad that you might want to consider changing your name, if it wasn’t for the fact that you had your name first, years before a certain wealthy British author was even conceived!

In this case it’s a man sharing the same name as boy wizard Harry Potter.

News Reports:

Each time a new Harry Potter book or movie comes out, Florida resident Harry Potter gets phone calls from children, interview requests from TV networks and autograph requests.

“The kids want to know if I’m Harry Potter,” he said with a chuckle. “I tell them I’ve been Harry Potter for darn near 80 years!”

The real Harry Potter said he has not had time to read any of the J.K. Rowling books or see the hit movies. But the retired U.S. Defense Department employee gets his fun out of Pottermania.

“When Harry talks to the kids, they’ll ask about the owl and he’ll say, ‘Oh, he came by and brought the mail,'” said his wife, Jan. “Then, when they’re done, the mothers come on and say thank you for talking to the kids. He gets a big kick out of it.”

But meeting a real Harry Potter can be a little puzzling for the kids.

“They look at you, give you the once-over,” he said, laughing. “They can’t relate the one in the book to the one they see here. I guess I could buy me a pair of Harry Potter glasses.”

I wonder what he thinks of the petition to save Harry Potter?

Meanwhile, in Harry Potter related crazy news…

The Daily Mail reports:

A headmistress at a school in England is in big trouble with the pupils.

At a end of school semester assembly 400 children aged under 12 were shocked as Carolyn Banfield took the latest Harry Book, Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, and read from the last page.

Parents and kids alike are now outraged, as many had intended to read what is expected to be the last in the series of books to have swept the world.

 Louie Swift, nine, said: “I don’t know why she read it. She’s not usually a spoilsport. She didn’t even mention she had the book.

“She just picked it up and started reading it to us.”

Jordan Ashton, ten, complained: “It has spoiled the book for me.”

The parent of an 8-year-old was fuming when she talked to the tabloid.

 “He’s read the last three books but there’s no point reading this one now.”

Another mother, who declined to be named, said: “It’s appalling. My son was going to read a book instead of playing on his computer and I was going to have some peace and quiet. “

Those poor kids, they’ll be scared for life!

Oh, the humanity.

No word as to the motivation of reading the final page to the kiddies, but I suspect she had one of two reasons.

1- She wanted to be seen as ‘cool’ by all the kids, which has clearly backfired, in spectacular fashion.

OR

2- She wanted all those kids to have a miserable holiday break, forcing them to go outside and get exercise in the dreaded outdoors.

 What an evil woman…..

Sounds like something out of a Harry Potter novel!

Maybe the kids could occupy themselves with the craziness of the Potter Puppet Pals !

 

Boss kills employees because they ‘asked for a pay rise.’

 

Smirk of a killer- Lithuanian native Rolandas Milinavicius dosn’t seem to like pesky employees much at all.

 Asking your boss for a pay rise can be a daunting task at best, and it seems especially so for those working in the car dealership industry.

So if you thought your boss was a bit of a psycho, spare a thought for Inga Contreras and Martynas Simokaitis.

Police in Georgia, USA, have charged Rolandas Milinavicius with the murder of his two employees after they questioned him over not being happy about the pay.

He has confessed to shooting the pair.

Local media reports:

Milinavicius, who was having financial problems, told police he shot the two Thursday after they kept asking for more pay.

“As I understand, the employees were not really happy about the pay, and they had questioned him about it over the course of time,” a police spokesman said. “That morning he said he just snapped.”

Contreras and Simokaitis were cremated and an informal memorial service was held at Simokaitis’ cousin’s apartment over the weekend. The remains were to be flown to Lithuania on Tuesday.

“It doesn’t make any sense,” the cousin, Jaunius Simokaitis, of Fayetteville, said Monday. “If he was having money problems, these two would have been the ones to help him get out of debt. They would have helped him make that money.”

He was denied bail by a judge.

Video story from local Atlanta News..

Let this be a lesson to us all….

Never work in a car dealership.

Better yet, join a union before you ask for a pay rise.

Even better yet, don’t ask for a payrise at all.

Who needs money right?

Better yet, take some good advice on how to handle workplace politics from our friends at CNN Living: Four co-workers you should befriend.

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