Man violently attacked by cows!

 

Mwooooo!

A British policeman has been brutally attacked by some 50 cows. Insp Chris Poole suffered four broken ribs and a punctured lung when he was knocked down from behind by one of the angry grass chewers, and then gang bashed by a number of others.

Who would have thought that the fish of the land (or is that chicken? I’m talking about you Jessica Simpson) could attack and cause serious injury.

The Worthington Herald reports:

Recovering at his home Insp Poole said he wanted to warn all walkers to give cows a wide berth.

The 50-year-old officer said: “I worked on a farm and with cattle when I was a youngster and always told people not to worry about cows and said they never attacked.

“Little did I know.”

He was walking his ten-year-old Golden Retriever “Zak” on the South Downs near his home and decided to put him on a lead as they entered the cattle field and continued along a designated footpath.

He said: “Suddenly, one cow started mooing and then others began running towards me.

“There were about 50 of them, some were cows with calves but all were fully grown.

“We were surrounded but I wasn’t scared and waved and shooed them away as they came close.

“They were focused on Zak and became more agitated as they got nearer and nearer.

“Then I felt this cow butt me hard in the back.

“I fell to the ground and let go of Zak’s lead.

“There were hooves all around me and I was being repeatedly head butted as I lay there.

“I felt my ribs go. One cow stood on my arm and broke my watch, and I suffered a gash on my head.”

A veterinarian told media cows could become protective of their young to the point of becoming aggressive, especially if a large dog was nearby.

Cow behaving badly.

Nowhere is safe! Nowhere!

Dog Shoots Man, Seriously.

 Speaking of men and dogs….

 

They say when a dog bits a man it’s not likely to make the news, but when a man bites a dog, it makes headlines.

When a man shoots a dog, it’s very sad news.

But when a dog shoots a man, well, you can’t help but laugh (as long as everyone lives to tell the tale that is)

For 37 year old James Harris from Iowa in the US, the first day of pheasant season was one not to remember.

After his party shot a bird north of Grinnell on Friday, 37-year-old Harris put his gun down and crossed a fence to retrieve it. That’s when things went to the hunting dogs, who stepped on the weapon and bang!

Harris was hit in the lower left leg. He was treated at a nearby medical centre and then airlifted to Iowa City.

Authorities are investigating. No word on whether the dogs have been interrogated.

If it’s good enough for Dick, its good enough for Dog.

What?

Source: USA Today.

Video: So, what is Pheasant Shooting?

Zombie freaks out Germans

It may be an American tradition, but commuters in the German city of Hamburg were scared shitless when they mistook a drunken Halloween reveller dressed up as a gore-covered zombie for a murder victim.

The question I ask however is, shouldn’t they have been primarily concerned with the possibility that what they were seeing was a real zombie?

Reports:

The 24-year-old man fell into a drunken slumber on his way home from a Halloween party in Hamburg, police in the northern town of Bad Segeberg said.

Believing his hands and face were smeared with blood, passengers alerted police after getting no response from him.

A first aid team called to the scene soon cleared up the confusion. Police told the man to remove his make-up after which he was allowed to continue his journey.

“Bad Segeberg is in a rural area and Halloween isn’t very well known there,” police spokeswoman Silke Tobies said.

“So people weren’t expecting anyone to be dressed up in the train.”

Oh the horrrooorrrrrrrr!

Now I’ve got myself a new gag for April Fools Day, mwaaahahahhahahaha!

Zombies are so cool.

Happy Halloween, ya’ll!

Teen on go-kart outruns seven police squad cars.

In the German town of Moenchengladbach, speed runs in the locals veins.

A need for speed that is. Speed as in fast cars, you know, vroom, vroom, etc.

Why? Well not only has this German town produced two successful Formula 1 racing drivers, Nick Heidfeld and Heinz-Harald Frentzen, it’s also been the scene for a dangerous police chase that saw a teenager on a go-cart outrun seven local police squad cars.

“We were chasing him across town, but the squad cars couldn’t keep up because the go-cart was able to take the corners faster and he was able to get away,” police spokesman Willy Thevissen said.

Taking a 5km (3mile) getaway, the gutsy 18-year-old spotted a private garage with an open door, where he decided to lie low.

However, his luck ran out, police soon discovering his hiding place. He was questioned and charged with driving without a license and driving a go-kart on a public street, which is not permitted in Germany.

And now, for some mindless go-kart racing, crashes and biff…