The Crazy News Guy

Archive for the ‘UK’ Category

Happy 16th! Kids get drama class sex show treat.

In England, Happy Birthday, sex, Strip Tease, Stripper, UK on November 9, 2007 at 1:52 am

8855.jpg “You’ve been a bad little boy”

Ahh yes, corporal punishment, the corner stone of any half decent educational institution.

And for one lucky young man and good spanking was just what mother ordered indeed.

It was half way through a drama lesson for the kids at upper-middle class Arnold High School in Nottingham, England. It was almost lunch time.

A mother for one of the students had organized a 16th “birthday surprise” for her son, and requested for it (a gorillagram) to be filmed so the family could enjoy the youths reaction. How sweet.

What could be better than an underpaid college student in a gorilla suit singing your son happy birthday?

The Daily Mail has an eyewitness account:

“The teacher suddenly announced: ‘Something is about to happen’.

Then a woman in a very short skirt walked in dressed as a copper.

“She asked the lad to stand up, which he did, and told him he had been a very naughty boy because he hadn’t been doing his homework.

“Then she put on some Britney Spears music and got out a collar and led from her bag and told him to put them on.

“No one could believe it. Next she ordered him to get on all fours, led him around the classroom and hit him 16 times – one for each year – on the bottom with her whip.

“Then she took off some clothes until she was down to her bra and pants, pulled out some cream, put it on her buttocks and told him to rub it in.

“To be fair to the teacher, you could tell she was just stunned – and when

the cream came out she told the stripper: ‘That’s it. That’s enough’.”

The teenager said the boy ran out of the classroom while the stripper calmly packed her bag and left.

“Everyone was in a state of shock,” added the source.

“Apparently the boy’s mum arranged the whole thing. But all she wanted to do was embarrass him with a little bit of fun.

“She thought she had booked something like a gorilla to chase him around the classroom. She certainly didn’t expect anything like this.

“Apparently minutes before the stripper turned up the mum told the teacher something was going to happen and gave her a camera to film it all.”

A spokesman for the school would only say yesterday: “There was an incident, we are aware of it, and it is being dealt with.”

Best 16th Birthday ever. The young lad was last seen running off to the boys toilets, for what exactly we can only speculate. 

Poo in curry wife: Like “an episode of Desperate Housewives”.

In Desperate Housewives, food, law and order, marriage, UK, Uncategorized on November 1, 2007 at 11:49 pm

When 47 year old Jill Martin suspected her husband was having an affair with another woman, she decided to strike back with the oldest trick in the book. Dog poo curry. 

…after placing the dinner in front of her husband Donald and watching him start to eat it, Martin had burst out laughing.

At first she claimed she had laced the dish with arsenic but then confessed she had added dog excrement instead.

The court heard that the couple had been married for 21 years but in recent years their relationship “had hit an all time low”.

Speaking in her defence, solicitor Terry Gallanagh said that the case was like ‘an episode of Desperate Housewives’.

Yummmm….

Following her arrest for the incident, Martin was banned from going anywhere near her husband or their home in Scotland.

The couple have now begun divorce proceedings.

How romantic.

Source: BBC

Man violently attacked by cows!

In bizarre News, Cows, England, farm, Odd News, The Crazy News, UK on October 30, 2007 at 10:46 pm

 

Mwooooo!

A British policeman has been brutally attacked by some 50 cows. Insp Chris Poole suffered four broken ribs and a punctured lung when he was knocked down from behind by one of the angry grass chewers, and then gang bashed by a number of others.

Who would have thought that the fish of the land (or is that chicken? I’m talking about you Jessica Simpson) could attack and cause serious injury.

The Worthington Herald reports:

Recovering at his home Insp Poole said he wanted to warn all walkers to give cows a wide berth.

The 50-year-old officer said: “I worked on a farm and with cattle when I was a youngster and always told people not to worry about cows and said they never attacked.

“Little did I know.”

He was walking his ten-year-old Golden Retriever “Zak” on the South Downs near his home and decided to put him on a lead as they entered the cattle field and continued along a designated footpath.

He said: “Suddenly, one cow started mooing and then others began running towards me.

“There were about 50 of them, some were cows with calves but all were fully grown.

“We were surrounded but I wasn’t scared and waved and shooed them away as they came close.

“They were focused on Zak and became more agitated as they got nearer and nearer.

“Then I felt this cow butt me hard in the back.

“I fell to the ground and let go of Zak’s lead.

“There were hooves all around me and I was being repeatedly head butted as I lay there.

“I felt my ribs go. One cow stood on my arm and broke my watch, and I suffered a gash on my head.”

A veterinarian told media cows could become protective of their young to the point of becoming aggressive, especially if a large dog was nearby.

Cow behaving badly.

Nowhere is safe! Nowhere!

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Naked sleepwalking on the rise.

In 2007, Odd News, UK, Weird News on October 26, 2007 at 4:18 pm

According to British hotel company Travelodge, incidents of sleepwalking in hotels rose seven-fold in the past year, and 95 percent of the culprits are scantily clad men.

Which means men staying in hotels in Britain have serious psychological disorders, or there is something more sinister happening.

To manage the steep increase in naked sleepwalking incidents, Travelodge has decided to implement a new training program to deal with the phenomenon.

One tip in the company’s newly released “sleepwalkers guide” tells staff to keep towels handy at the front desk in case a customer’s dignity needs preserving.

The company said naked wanderers often ask receptionists such questions as “Where’s the bathroom?,” “Do you have a newspaper?” or “Can I check out, I’m late for work?”

Click: What causes sleepwalking?

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