The Crazy News Guy

Archive for the ‘sex’ Category

Happy 16th! Kids get drama class sex show treat.

In England, Happy Birthday, sex, Strip Tease, Stripper, UK on November 9, 2007 at 1:52 am

8855.jpg “You’ve been a bad little boy”

Ahh yes, corporal punishment, the corner stone of any half decent educational institution.

And for one lucky young man and good spanking was just what mother ordered indeed.

It was half way through a drama lesson for the kids at upper-middle class Arnold High School in Nottingham, England. It was almost lunch time.

A mother for one of the students had organized a 16th “birthday surprise” for her son, and requested for it (a gorillagram) to be filmed so the family could enjoy the youths reaction. How sweet.

What could be better than an underpaid college student in a gorilla suit singing your son happy birthday?

The Daily Mail has an eyewitness account:

“The teacher suddenly announced: ‘Something is about to happen’.

Then a woman in a very short skirt walked in dressed as a copper.

“She asked the lad to stand up, which he did, and told him he had been a very naughty boy because he hadn’t been doing his homework.

“Then she put on some Britney Spears music and got out a collar and led from her bag and told him to put them on.

“No one could believe it. Next she ordered him to get on all fours, led him around the classroom and hit him 16 times – one for each year – on the bottom with her whip.

“Then she took off some clothes until she was down to her bra and pants, pulled out some cream, put it on her buttocks and told him to rub it in.

“To be fair to the teacher, you could tell she was just stunned – and when

the cream came out she told the stripper: ‘That’s it. That’s enough’.”

The teenager said the boy ran out of the classroom while the stripper calmly packed her bag and left.

“Everyone was in a state of shock,” added the source.

“Apparently the boy’s mum arranged the whole thing. But all she wanted to do was embarrass him with a little bit of fun.

“She thought she had booked something like a gorilla to chase him around the classroom. She certainly didn’t expect anything like this.

“Apparently minutes before the stripper turned up the mum told the teacher something was going to happen and gave her a camera to film it all.”

A spokesman for the school would only say yesterday: “There was an incident, we are aware of it, and it is being dealt with.”

Best 16th Birthday ever. The young lad was last seen running off to the boys toilets, for what exactly we can only speculate. 

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What do you mean I can’t join the Mile High Club in style?

In 2007, A380, Air travel, Mile High Club, sex, Singapore, World News on November 1, 2007 at 6:08 pm

a380siabeds_wideweb__470x3120.jpg

Ohh yeah, looks inviting doesn’t it?

If there ever was a easier and more comfortable way to join the famous mile high club, this would be it. On one of the 12 private suites containing double beds, tucked away in the first class area of the new Airbus A380.

I mean surley if you are going to pay the $14,320 price tag for two tickets in one of the suggestive suites, a little hanky panky here or there with a fellow traveler could be tolerated? A blind eye could be turned perhaps?

Well, according to the ultimate kill joys, the owners of the first delivered superjumbo’s, Singapore Airlines, sex on the plane is banned without question.

“All we ask of customers, wherever they are on our aircraft, is to observe standards that don’t cause offence to other customers and crew,” the airline said in a statement.

Outrageous!

Indeed, one of the first passengers to fly the superjumbo from Singapore to Sydney recently was amused that the airline had created such a suggestible atmosphere in the luxury cabins.

“So they’ll sell you a double bed and give you privacy and endless champagne and then say you can’t do what comes naturally?” Tony Elwood, who travelled with wife Julie in a suite aboard the inaugural flight, told the Times of London.

“They seem to have done everything they can to make it romantic, short of bringing round oysters,” Julie said. “I’d say they shouldn’t really complain, should they?”

What the hell else are oysters for? Geeze.

See the Singapore Air A380 experience here, not that you would want to fly with them after this outrage.

And if you happen to score an A380 first class seat some time, be sure to make the most of it, what are they gonna do throw you off….

It’s Coming:”Firmer, bigger, longer!” Revolutionary condom arouses market investors looking for the next big thing.

In 2007, adult, Business, condom, CSD500, CSD500 Condom, Futura Medical, health, sex, sex industry, Sex Inustry, Sex Partners, Sexual Health, technology, UK, Uncategorized, World on August 10, 2007 at 2:59 am

3000-austin-powers.jpg

Yeah baby!

Watch out ladies, err and ah gents, amid all the current stock market turmoil and uncertainty, shares in British condom maker Futura Medical have ballooned to new heights with expectations the company’s new CSD500 condom will revolutionise the male sexual experience, media reports.

How exciting!

“I am delighted by these highly statistically significant study results, which give us confidence that the CSD500 product will gain marketing approval and, once launched, be a commercial success,” the chief executive, James Barder, said.

A statement on the company web site details how the revolutionary condom will work, touting an amazing Viagra like ability to allow for maximum pleasure for both sexual partners. Human trials on 108 healthy couples recently came to a climax.

The new product will “incorporate an erectogenic compound to help men maintain a full erection during intercourse…a pharmacological dose contained within the teat of the condom will be delivered to the penis.

“This will result in increased local blood flow which in turn should lead to improved rigidity, tumescence and duration of an erection.”

The “pharmacological dose” they speak of is a chemical compound called glyceryl trinitrate, otherwise known as nitroglycerin, a chemical most famous for its use in explosives. Yes, explosives.

Talk about more bang for your buck!

It is used in other medical products, primarily for its ability to widen blood vessels.

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Shares did a roaring trade after the announcement,  skyrocketing 14.5 percent, just shy of a whopping 60 British pounds. Oh behave!

“We expect to get regulatory EU approval later this year and then it is a question of launching the product soon after, so the revenues are really going to hit us in 2008,” the CEO of the company moaned.

Market research had shown that “up to 80 percent of existing condom users would be interested in trying the product and, more importantly, 49 percent of non-condom users would be interested in using it as it will help them maintain an erection.” Yeah, baby!

The amazing new condom will be marketed by SSL International under the Durex brand.

I just can’t wait, till 2008! There’s nothing like increased blood flow, nothing!

Right ladies?

Right!

I’m sure all the man loving ladies of England will be happy with this product, especially if TV comedy Family Guy’s version of high class British porn rings true….

Well done, indeed!

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31-year-old woman refuses to give up the teen love she met playing World of Warcraft.

In 2007, adult, australia, law and order, love, Odd News, sex, Sex Partners, sex scandal, Society, Tamara Broome, The Crazy News, United States, US News, USA, Weird News, World, World News, World of Warcraft on August 7, 2007 at 9:37 pm

As The Crazy News reported a few months back….

They fell for each other playing online role-playing game World of Warcraft, but society was not ready for their woman on teen love, now the 31-year-old Aussie once caught trying to ‘abduct’ her young lover, says her desire for a 17-year-old boy from North Carolina is undying.

Tamara Broome (pictured below) was arrested for child abduction when she arrived in the United States to wisk the boy, who wanted to escape pressure to join the military, back to Australia. She has spoken publicly for the first time about her ordeal. 

Freed, after a plea bargain with US Federal authorities , she says that she would “be crazy” to let her teen lover go and that their online relationship “was so much more than just infatuation.”

The University student and part time supermarket worker from Adelaide, South Australia, spoke to Australia’s Nine Television Network, Australian news media reported:

The pair tried many times to break off the internet relationship, Broome said, but their bond was too strong.

“It was so much more than just infatuation,” she said.

“I do love him dearly.”

During their online affair the pair discussed the possibility of a sexual relationship, as well as the prospect of marriage.

“We did talk about all the legal ramifications of him coming over here and what I’d heard, what was legal here and what was legal there etcetera etcetera, so yeah, it was brought up.”

Broome was freed after she agreed to plead guilty to a lesser charge of contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

She is forbidden from contacting the victim in any way until he turns 18 on June 9, 2008.

“I’m going to miss him dreadfully over the next couple of months,” Broome said.

She also indicated the pair may seek to restore the relationship once they are allowed.

“I think I’d be crazy to let him go,” she said.

Tamara Broome

Down Under weirdo…

Meanwhile, all you World of Warcraft fans should be getting excited. The World of Warcraft movie is set to hit cinemas in the near future, and is rumored to have a Water World style budget of around US $100 million.

The film would be released sometime in 2009 and is targeted for a PG-13 rating. The film will be set approximately a year before the start of World of Warcraft, and interweaves the story of various races, lands and a new hero into a two and a half hour feature told from the Alliance perspective, says The Hollywood News.

 

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