The Crazy News Guy

Archive for August 23rd, 2007|Daily archive page

Crazy Quotes Mega Edition!

In 2007, News, Odd News, The Crazy News, Uncategorized, World on August 23, 2007 at 7:28 pm
Crazy me up like crazy! We spin, spin, spin the globe….

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And let’s have another edition of…

The Crazy News: Quick Quotes.

This spiky little bloke’s sex life may lead to clues about human evolution…

Germany

“Eventually she ended up stuck in a grave and couldn’t get out, so we had to pull her out.”

Police in the town of Mitterteich speak to media after a woman who went to pay her respects to a dead relative, drove across a cemetery drunk, smashing up headstones and tombs before she ground to a halt in someone’s open grave. Police estimated the total damage to graves and the 53-year-old’s car at around 18,000 euros (US$24,000).

Australia

“We are really focussing on trying to find out more about the sex life of the echidnas”

A scientist from the University of Adelaide is looking for volunteers to observe the spiky little egg laying mammal’s sexual adventures. The findings of the Echidna study will be used to improve captive breeding programs and could also enhance information about human evolution.

USA

“Another female. It wasn’t me.”

Michigan forensic scientist Ann Chamberlain testifies to a court about what she found when she tested her husband’s underwear for DNA using police resources. She was fired for using department supplies, materials and equipment for non-departmental purposes.

Egypt

“Curse of the Pharaohs”

That’s what a German man believed had occurred to his stepfather after he stole several pharaonic carvings in Egypt some time back. Over a number of years after stealing the ancient carvings, the stepfather was stuck down by inexplicable fatigue, fever, paralysis and cancer followed by death. The stolen carvings were handed to the Egyptian embassy in Berlin before being flown back to Cairo.

Russia

“It was monstrously painful…I was burning like a torch. I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”

A wounded man tells reporters in Moscow about the experience of having his ex-wife set his penis on fire. It was not known exactly how this occurred, but apparently he was drunk on vodka and watching TV when it happened. Hot rod!

Nepal

“We detained five Badi men and eight Badi women as they tried to strip off their clothes during a demonstration”

Protesters outside the national parliament in Kathmandu take drastic measures in order to get their message across about the issue of the decades old practice of child prostitution. They were members of the poor Badi community who are one of the most disadvantaged groups in the country. For generations, many have been forced into the sex trade because of a lack of other options.

Japan

“The machine isn’t that strong, much less so than a muscular man. Even women should be able to beat it.”

A spokeswoman from a Japanese arcade company explains the reasons behind the recall of 100 arm wrestling machines. Three players broke their arms while wrestling with the machine’s mechanized appendage. Weaklings.

New Zealand

“There were queues of 15 to 20 people at any one time for a good six hours from about 10pm until 4am…it was a backpacker bonanza.”

A Queenstown taxi driver tells police about a automatic cash machine that was handing out double the requested money. A dim witted bank worker stacked the machine with the wrong notes, with $20 notes in the $10 box and vice versa. Most people cashing in were overseas travellers taking advantage of the areas ski resorts. Some have all the luck.

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Vladimir Putin, Gay Icon?

In 2007, Fishing, News, olympics, Russia, Uncategorized, Vladimir Putin, World on August 23, 2007 at 4:08 am

Crazy Russian Times….

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Why has this photo of tough guy, former KGB agent etc etc, Russian President Vladimir Putin caused such a stir?

It was taken while he was holidaying with Monaco’s Prince Albert (not the piercing) II in the Tuva region of Siberia, as a thanks for getting Russia to host the 2014 Winter Olympics. (Albert is a powerful member of the International Olympic Committee)

It’s a photo that has seen the nation go Putin half naked crazy!

Russia’s most read newspaper, Komsomolskaya Pravda ,posted a step-by-step guide to building a body like the President and Radio talk back speculated that the photo showed signals that he doesn’t plan to relinquish power.

But most hilariously, Russian gay chat rooms and blogs were buzzing about the official picture, comparing the tough guy Putin photo to gay cowboy spectacular Brokeback Mountain.

And offcourse not to forget the women of Russia, who were apparently “screaming with delight and showering (him) with compliments.” Via the Guardian.

So what can explain such a ruckus made by one simple Kremlin propagandist photo? Micheal Grove from the Times of London put it best, from what I can tell at least, with this post-modern/masculinist/whateverist analysis.

On one level Vlad is showing us all that he’s a remarkably fit man for his age (54) and that, unlike in the decadent West, Russia’s leaders remain the physical embodiment of their nation’s vigour – classical champions in the manner of those Roman emperors who would renew their mandate to rule on the battlefield or even in the gladiatorial ring. His bare-chested peacockery is, in that respect, in line with the broader cult of Putin as his nation’s silverback – the leader of the band.

Baring your torso on holiday, whether in Ayia Napa or on the deck of your yacht, means setting aside the expected norms of modesty and thus, in its way, involves you staking a claim to attention, and occupying more space than if you were clothed. It is an act of assertion, a waving of the coxcomb.

Offcourse, “waving of the coxcomb”. Ahh, yes, I couldn’t have put it any better myself really.

The photo who-ha comes at a very interesting time for our pals in Russia.

Let’s see what else they have been up to:

It has unvieled the world’s largest known Russian flag, covering 400 square metres, on the banks of the Moskva to celebrate “the authority of our country”. Ah, O-K.

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She has planted a flag at the bottom of the ocean under the north pole, claiming the area for it’s extensive natural resources, for a future date (once all that nice ice has melt sometime mid-late this century), despite it likely breaking international law.

And the recommencement of Cold War era style long range tactical bomber missions, which has already spooked European nations.

Hold me, I’m scared!…

If your not Vladimired out enough yet, you can see a lovely slide show of Putin’s holiday in the sun here, from the International Herald Tribune.

For the record Putin didn’t catch a thing. Except maybe a weak southern Russian tan.

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