The Crazy News Guy

Archive for August 21st, 2007|Daily archive page

A Wee Problem! Dwarf Gets Penis Stuck On Vacuum Cleaner.

In Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Freak Show, News, Odd News, Scotland, UK, video, Weird News, World on August 21, 2007 at 7:57 pm

Don’t try this at home….

8789d8b2-cb41-7b3a-aa7fd385c1c11c1e.jpg A wee little sucker! 

Dopey Scotish dwarf Dan Blackner, otherwise known as Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf, was rushed to hospital after practicing an on stage act at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Festival web site here!

The crazy act involved the tiny fellow towing a vacuum cleaner with his member. An act with obviously hilarious consequences.

When Dan noticed that a part of the suction pipe had torn, he decided to use some glue to fix the problem. Instead of waiting the recommended 20 minutes for the glue to dry, he misread the recommendations and went in for a go after just 20 seconds.

Embarrasing?

Dan’s manager had to drive him to the hospital for emergency penis removal.

“I don’t know what she must have thought. She just sat there trying not to laugh. But I just felt like crying.” Dan said.

“It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. When I was wheeled into a packed A&E with a Hoover attached to my willy I just wished the ground could swallow me up.”

“Luckily the nurses saw me right away so the embarrassment was short lived.”

“It was too painful to free myself and I was terrified that if I pulled too hard I’d rip it off. The very thought left me in a cold sweat.”

His doctor added: “It was one of the most bizarre accidents I’ve ever seen — and I work with a freak show. He phoned me in a panic. When he said what happened, I didn’t believe him. Luckily the nurses soon freed him.”

Freak Out!

Some crazy unrelated videos from the Edinburgh Fringe!

It’s an illusion…..

Crazy Street Acts….

These ladies can Fringe my Festival…

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Crazy World: Humped to Death, Man wants 100 Kids, Sleeping with Bears after Beers and The World’s Oldest Chewing Gum.

In Abdul Rahman, australia, Finland, News, Rampant Rabbit Robber, Serbia, The Crazy News, UAE, Uncategorized, World on August 21, 2007 at 2:06 am

 earth2.jpg

Time to spin that globe and experience yet another edition of….

The Crazy News: Quick Quotes.

superdad_468x309.jpg Abdul says you aint seen nothing yet.

Serbia

“Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage.”

A director of the Belgrade Zoo discusses the half eaten body of a 23-year-old man found with the bears. It appears the man had stumbled in from the grounds of a nearby beer festival being enjoyed by the local population. Several mobile phones were found inside the cage, as well as bricks, stones and beer cans. Go figure.

UAE

“In 2015 I will be 68 years old and will have 100 children.”

Abdul Rahman, a one legged Emirati father of 78, talks up his hopes of hitting the magic century mark. The 60-year-old man whore currently has 15 wives, but wants to knock up at least 2 more in the next few years. Apparently Islam allows men to marry up to four women at a time. Abdul uses government funds to support the family. You can probably thank the oil for that.

Australia

“I’d say it’s probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing.”

A police detective from Queensland state speculates as to why a woman, who had been given a camel for her 60th birthday, was crushed to death by the pet at her family’s sheep station/ranch. It apparently knocked her to the ground, laid on top of her, and displayed a suspicious mating behaviour. Eeep.

Finland

“It’s particularly significant because well defined tooth imprints were found on the gum.”

A professor to a 23-year-old archaeology student discusses the find of what is being described as the world’s oldest piece of chewing gum, estimated at 5,000 years, yum! The student for the Scotland was on a dig centred in an area frequented by Neolithic era humans when she came across the lump of birch bark tar. She also found an amber ring and an arrow head. How interesting.

UK

“The defendant pointed the vibrator in the bag at Mr Vakani and warned him to back off.”

A Leicester court prosecutor details to a jury how a man held up a betting shop using his girlfriend’s vibrator as a weapon of intimidation. The manager of the shop handed over more than £600 in cash to the man, who the British media have dubbed The “Rampant Rabbit robber”. He was sentenced to 5 years prison.

What can I say to that? Sex toys as weapons?… it’s a crazy world people, it’s a crazy world.

 “Give me all your money or I’ll…”

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