The Crazy News Guy

It’s Coming:”Firmer, bigger, longer!” Revolutionary condom arouses market investors looking for the next big thing.

In 2007, adult, Business, condom, CSD500, CSD500 Condom, Futura Medical, health, sex, sex industry, Sex Inustry, Sex Partners, Sexual Health, technology, UK, Uncategorized, World on August 10, 2007 at 2:59 am

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Yeah baby!

Watch out ladies, err and ah gents, amid all the current stock market turmoil and uncertainty, shares in British condom maker Futura Medical have ballooned to new heights with expectations the company’s new CSD500 condom will revolutionise the male sexual experience, media reports.

How exciting!

“I am delighted by these highly statistically significant study results, which give us confidence that the CSD500 product will gain marketing approval and, once launched, be a commercial success,” the chief executive, James Barder, said.

A statement on the company web site details how the revolutionary condom will work, touting an amazing Viagra like ability to allow for maximum pleasure for both sexual partners. Human trials on 108 healthy couples recently came to a climax.

The new product will “incorporate an erectogenic compound to help men maintain a full erection during intercourse…a pharmacological dose contained within the teat of the condom will be delivered to the penis.

“This will result in increased local blood flow which in turn should lead to improved rigidity, tumescence and duration of an erection.”

The “pharmacological dose” they speak of is a chemical compound called glyceryl trinitrate, otherwise known as nitroglycerin, a chemical most famous for its use in explosives. Yes, explosives.

Talk about more bang for your buck!

It is used in other medical products, primarily for its ability to widen blood vessels.

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Shares did a roaring trade after the announcement,  skyrocketing 14.5 percent, just shy of a whopping 60 British pounds. Oh behave!

“We expect to get regulatory EU approval later this year and then it is a question of launching the product soon after, so the revenues are really going to hit us in 2008,” the CEO of the company moaned.

Market research had shown that “up to 80 percent of existing condom users would be interested in trying the product and, more importantly, 49 percent of non-condom users would be interested in using it as it will help them maintain an erection.” Yeah, baby!

The amazing new condom will be marketed by SSL International under the Durex brand.

I just can’t wait, till 2008! There’s nothing like increased blood flow, nothing!

Right ladies?

Right!

I’m sure all the man loving ladies of England will be happy with this product, especially if TV comedy Family Guy’s version of high class British porn rings true….

Well done, indeed!

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  1. Still, we have to get over that “with a woman” hurdle.

  2. With a woman!

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