The Crazy News Guy

Archive for August 10th, 2007|Daily archive page

Crazy Video: Raccoon steals carpet! As woman kills crazy raccoon that attacked a child.

In animals, Crazy News Video of the Week, Crazy Video, Raccoon, Uncategorized, wild animals, Woman kills raccoon, World on August 10, 2007 at 5:15 pm

Oh YEAH! Its Friday…..You all know what that means…… Yes, it’s time for another instalment of…..

The Crazy News Crazy Video of the Week!

In this Friday’s crazy video, a devious raccoon decides that a 5-finger discount on a nice looking carpet door mat is in order. After slowly sneaking in through a doggy door, the raccoon slowly claws the carpet, and in the blink of an eye, is back off into the night.

Raccoons have an amazing ability to open many closed containers, despite having no opposable thumbs like us humans.


They also have a reputation for being clever and mischievous; in fact, their intelligence and dexterity equip them to survive in a wide range of environments and are one of the few medium-to-large-sized animals that have enlarged its range since human encroachment began.


Raccoon’s are now my new favourite animal! Little devils they are…


Well, well, well. Good things come in 2’s.

Less than a day after The Crazy News decided to feature a devilish raccoon as the Crazy Video of the Week, shocking news comes out of the US.

40-year-old Denise Morrison was taking a leisurely stroll thought some woods in Connecticut with a group of children, when a raccoon seemingly came out of nowhere and bit one of the children, a 5-year-old boy, on the leg.

“It went right for us, it wasn’t stumbling around,” Denise told local media.

Denise pulled the raccoon off the child, and told the kids to run for their lives and head for home. From then on it was just woman on raccoon. Going toe-to-toe in the woods alone.

She went into full action mode, and instead of using a stick or a foot to beat the rabid creature, Denise chose a more aggressive style, knelling on the raccoon with both legs and then strangled the animal to death.

You go girl!

“It felt like a long time… I knew if I hit it, it might attack someone else, or me,” She said.

Local authorities praised Morrison as a hero.

“She had the presence of mind to choke it…she is one tough lady,” a local animal control officer said.

“She wrestled a 25-pound raccoon and kept her cool.

“She let the kids run away. It was what any mother would do…she is amazing, a pioneer mom,” a local policeman said.

The carcass was taken to a state laboratory where, unfortunately, it tested positive for rabies.

Denise and the boy are undergoing rabies treatment.

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It’s Coming:”Firmer, bigger, longer!” Revolutionary condom arouses market investors looking for the next big thing.

In 2007, adult, Business, condom, CSD500, CSD500 Condom, Futura Medical, health, sex, sex industry, Sex Inustry, Sex Partners, Sexual Health, technology, UK, Uncategorized, World on August 10, 2007 at 2:59 am


Yeah baby!

Watch out ladies, err and ah gents, amid all the current stock market turmoil and uncertainty, shares in British condom maker Futura Medical have ballooned to new heights with expectations the company’s new CSD500 condom will revolutionise the male sexual experience, media reports.

How exciting!

“I am delighted by these highly statistically significant study results, which give us confidence that the CSD500 product will gain marketing approval and, once launched, be a commercial success,” the chief executive, James Barder, said.

A statement on the company web site details how the revolutionary condom will work, touting an amazing Viagra like ability to allow for maximum pleasure for both sexual partners. Human trials on 108 healthy couples recently came to a climax.

The new product will “incorporate an erectogenic compound to help men maintain a full erection during intercourse…a pharmacological dose contained within the teat of the condom will be delivered to the penis.

“This will result in increased local blood flow which in turn should lead to improved rigidity, tumescence and duration of an erection.”

The “pharmacological dose” they speak of is a chemical compound called glyceryl trinitrate, otherwise known as nitroglycerin, a chemical most famous for its use in explosives. Yes, explosives.

Talk about more bang for your buck!

It is used in other medical products, primarily for its ability to widen blood vessels.


Shares did a roaring trade after the announcement,  skyrocketing 14.5 percent, just shy of a whopping 60 British pounds. Oh behave!

“We expect to get regulatory EU approval later this year and then it is a question of launching the product soon after, so the revenues are really going to hit us in 2008,” the CEO of the company moaned.

Market research had shown that “up to 80 percent of existing condom users would be interested in trying the product and, more importantly, 49 percent of non-condom users would be interested in using it as it will help them maintain an erection.” Yeah, baby!

The amazing new condom will be marketed by SSL International under the Durex brand.

I just can’t wait, till 2008! There’s nothing like increased blood flow, nothing!

Right ladies?


I’m sure all the man loving ladies of England will be happy with this product, especially if TV comedy Family Guy’s version of high class British porn rings true….

Well done, indeed!

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