Happy 16th! Kids get drama class sex show treat.

“You’ve been a bad little boy”

Ahh yes, corporal punishment, the corner stone of any half decent educational institution.

And for one lucky young man and good spanking was just what mother ordered indeed.

It was half way through a drama lesson for the kids at upper-middle class Arnold High School in Nottingham, England. It was almost lunch time.

A mother for one of the students had organized a 16th “birthday surprise” for her son, and requested for it (a gorillagram) to be filmed so the family could enjoy the youths reaction. How sweet.

What could be better than an underpaid college student in a gorilla suit singing your son happy birthday?

The Daily Mail has an eyewitness account:

“The teacher suddenly announced: ‘Something is about to happen’.

Then a woman in a very short skirt walked in dressed as a copper.

“She asked the lad to stand up, which he did, and told him he had been a very naughty boy because he hadn’t been doing his homework.

“Then she put on some Britney Spears music and got out a collar and led from her bag and told him to put them on.

“No one could believe it. Next she ordered him to get on all fours, led him around the classroom and hit him 16 times – one for each year – on the bottom with her whip.

“Then she took off some clothes until she was down to her bra and pants, pulled out some cream, put it on her buttocks and told him to rub it in.

“To be fair to the teacher, you could tell she was just stunned – and when

the cream came out she told the stripper: ‘That’s it. That’s enough’.”

The teenager said the boy ran out of the classroom while the stripper calmly packed her bag and left.

“Everyone was in a state of shock,” added the source.

“Apparently the boy’s mum arranged the whole thing. But all she wanted to do was embarrass him with a little bit of fun.

“She thought she had booked something like a gorilla to chase him around the classroom. She certainly didn’t expect anything like this.

“Apparently minutes before the stripper turned up the mum told the teacher something was going to happen and gave her a camera to film it all.”

A spokesman for the school would only say yesterday: “There was an incident, we are aware of it, and it is being dealt with.”

Best 16th Birthday ever. The young lad was last seen running off to the boys toilets, for what exactly we can only speculate. 

Poo in curry wife: Like “an episode of Desperate Housewives”.

When 47 year old Jill Martin suspected her husband was having an affair with another woman, she decided to strike back with the oldest trick in the book. Dog poo curry. 

…after placing the dinner in front of her husband Donald and watching him start to eat it, Martin had burst out laughing.

At first she claimed she had laced the dish with arsenic but then confessed she had added dog excrement instead.

The court heard that the couple had been married for 21 years but in recent years their relationship “had hit an all time low”.

Speaking in her defence, solicitor Terry Gallanagh said that the case was like ‘an episode of Desperate Housewives’.

Yummmm….

Following her arrest for the incident, Martin was banned from going anywhere near her husband or their home in Scotland.

The couple have now begun divorce proceedings.

How romantic.

Source: BBC

Man violently attacked by cows!

 

Mwooooo!

A British policeman has been brutally attacked by some 50 cows. Insp Chris Poole suffered four broken ribs and a punctured lung when he was knocked down from behind by one of the angry grass chewers, and then gang bashed by a number of others.

Who would have thought that the fish of the land (or is that chicken? I’m talking about you Jessica Simpson) could attack and cause serious injury.

The Worthington Herald reports:

Recovering at his home Insp Poole said he wanted to warn all walkers to give cows a wide berth.

The 50-year-old officer said: “I worked on a farm and with cattle when I was a youngster and always told people not to worry about cows and said they never attacked.

“Little did I know.”

He was walking his ten-year-old Golden Retriever “Zak” on the South Downs near his home and decided to put him on a lead as they entered the cattle field and continued along a designated footpath.

He said: “Suddenly, one cow started mooing and then others began running towards me.

“There were about 50 of them, some were cows with calves but all were fully grown.

“We were surrounded but I wasn’t scared and waved and shooed them away as they came close.

“They were focused on Zak and became more agitated as they got nearer and nearer.

“Then I felt this cow butt me hard in the back.

“I fell to the ground and let go of Zak’s lead.

“There were hooves all around me and I was being repeatedly head butted as I lay there.

“I felt my ribs go. One cow stood on my arm and broke my watch, and I suffered a gash on my head.”

A veterinarian told media cows could become protective of their young to the point of becoming aggressive, especially if a large dog was nearby.

Cow behaving badly.

Nowhere is safe! Nowhere!

Naked sleepwalking on the rise.

According to British hotel company Travelodge, incidents of sleepwalking in hotels rose seven-fold in the past year, and 95 percent of the culprits are scantily clad men.

Which means men staying in hotels in Britain have serious psychological disorders, or there is something more sinister happening.

To manage the steep increase in naked sleepwalking incidents, Travelodge has decided to implement a new training program to deal with the phenomenon.

One tip in the company’s newly released “sleepwalkers guide” tells staff to keep towels handy at the front desk in case a customer’s dignity needs preserving.

The company said naked wanderers often ask receptionists such questions as “Where’s the bathroom?,” “Do you have a newspaper?” or “Can I check out, I’m late for work?”

Click: What causes sleepwalking?

Crazy Tool: “Peter Addison was here,” left written at crime scene.

 

The Crazy News has decided to bring back an old segment.

The Crazy News Tool of the Week!

In this case, it’s the crazy news tool of the month, since it’s been at least 30 days since our last tool awarding.

This time, our tool, comes from lovely Cheshire, England.

Along with the apparently fun act of robbery and vandalism, an 18-year-old burglar thought it would be a fantastic idea to write “Peter Addison was here” on a wall.

And yep, our young friend Peter, actually his real name, was soon nabbed by police.

But it does not end there.

Police who arrived to investigate the incident were stunned to find Addison’s calling card plus other messages saying: “Thanks for the Stay,” according the London’s, The Daily Mail.

They checked his details on a computer system and when they caught up with him, he was also found to be wearing a T shirt stolen during the burglary.

Police were also able to aprehend a number of other offenders with Peter at the time.

Gareth Woods from the local Cheshire Police said: “This crime is up there were the dumbest of all in the criminal league table.

“There are some pretty stupid criminals around but to leave your own name at the scene of the crime takes the biscuit. The dafetness of this lad certainly made our job a lot easier.”

It doesn’t just take the biscuit.

It takes The Crazy News Tool of the Week/Month award too!

Enjoy it Peter, enjoy….

A Wee Problem! Dwarf Gets Penis Stuck On Vacuum Cleaner.

Don’t try this at home….

 A wee little sucker! 

Dopey Scotish dwarf Dan Blackner, otherwise known as Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf, was rushed to hospital after practicing an on stage act at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Festival web site here!

The crazy act involved the tiny fellow towing a vacuum cleaner with his member. An act with obviously hilarious consequences.

When Dan noticed that a part of the suction pipe had torn, he decided to use some glue to fix the problem. Instead of waiting the recommended 20 minutes for the glue to dry, he misread the recommendations and went in for a go after just 20 seconds.

Embarrasing?

Dan’s manager had to drive him to the hospital for emergency penis removal.

“I don’t know what she must have thought. She just sat there trying not to laugh. But I just felt like crying.” Dan said.

“It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. When I was wheeled into a packed A&E with a Hoover attached to my willy I just wished the ground could swallow me up.”

“Luckily the nurses saw me right away so the embarrassment was short lived.”

“It was too painful to free myself and I was terrified that if I pulled too hard I’d rip it off. The very thought left me in a cold sweat.”

His doctor added: “It was one of the most bizarre accidents I’ve ever seen — and I work with a freak show. He phoned me in a panic. When he said what happened, I didn’t believe him. Luckily the nurses soon freed him.”

Freak Out!

Some crazy unrelated videos from the Edinburgh Fringe!

It’s an illusion…..

Crazy Street Acts….

These ladies can Fringe my Festival…

British Lady Endures 20 Hours Being on Hold!

 

A crazy customer of British communication services company BT was left with the hold music on for a total of 20 hours.

The tenacious 51-year-old woman from Wales called the company helpline after a phone technician failed to turn up to install a phone line in her new home.

For 8 hours, she endured the sounds of the call centre hotline hold music, described as ‘piped music’, along with a recorded message that broke in at regular intervals. Most likely telling her how much BT valued her as a customer. On and on and on it went.

The clearly bored woman gave up and tried again for another 8 hours the next day.

“I was so frustrated and angry I broke down in tears,” she told media.

“It is a helpline for goodness’ sake, surely a company as big as BT can answer their phones.”

The big Telco was contacted by media and was forced to apologise.

“BT would like to apologise for the length of time this customer was left on the phone,” a BT spokesman said.

Media Targets for Criticism Over Boob Job Prizes.

 Nip ‘n Tuck.

Boob’s, boobs, boobs!

Recent media competitions in both the UK and Australia in which boob jobs are being given away as prizes have been the target of criticism from plastic surgeon associations and governments alike.

In the UK, an FM radio station gave away a boob job to jubilant 27-year-old Nadine Pude who said she would buy “loads of new underwear and a bikini that really shows off my assets.”

The excited young lady won the competition by the radio station’s web site viewer’s choice, with 22% of the vote. She appeared in a video on a section of the Liverpool based, Juice FM website, jucetube.net

“I couldn’t believe it when I won, it was out of this world.

“I’m happy with my height, my waist, and my weight. But I always thought I was lacking a ’bit up top’.

“My fiance, Paul, was brilliant. He always said that if it made me happy, I should get a good job and save for a boob job”.

I’m sure he would say that.

“But now I’ve won the competition, he can’t wait to get his hands on them,” the ditzy Pude said.

I bet the fiance can’t wait.

Surgeon’s Not Happy

But the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons was not impressed, despite the publicity for their industry.

“The giving of a surgical procedure as a prize is an unbelievable, dangerous and highly unethical practice.

“The decision to perform any surgical procedure must be based on common sense, case selection, good surgical decision making and patient safety,” an angry Adam Searle from the BAAPS told reporters.

Controversy Down Under

Meanwhile, politicians from Australia said they were not happy at a boob job competition from a local magazine.

Jealous old bag, Helen.

The “win a boob job for your girlfriend” competition, held by the Australian arm of weekly men’s magazine Zoo, copped some flack from the Australian Minister for Communications Helen Coonan.

“The minister certainly sees that this is an example of very poor taste and to women it would also be considered to be very offensive and she has directed ACMA to look into the matter,” a spokesperson for the Minister said.

The New South Wales state government, where Zoo Magazine Australia is based in Sydney, said it was looking into the local Lotteries and Art Unions Act, which forbids anyone from offering cosmetic surgery as a prize.

But Zoo denied the competition was illegal, saying it had found a loop hole of sorts.

“The winner will get a cheque for $10,000. If they choose to spend it on surgery they can. We’ve checked out all the legals. It’s not breaking any rules.”

The competition, as in the United Kingdom, was the target for criticism from the Australian Society of Plastic Surgeons; who said the competition breached a number of trade practices and ethical guidelines.

The moral of the story?

If you want to successfully publicise your radio station and or magazine, boost your ratings and circulation?

Run a boob job competition.

It’s so simple.

Now, I’m off to get my copy of Zoo!

Go on, tell the world!

It’s Coming:”Firmer, bigger, longer!” Revolutionary condom arouses market investors looking for the next big thing.

Yeah baby!

Watch out ladies, err and ah gents, amid all the current stock market turmoil and uncertainty, shares in British condom maker Futura Medical have ballooned to new heights with expectations the company’s new CSD500 condom will revolutionise the male sexual experience, media reports.

How exciting!

“I am delighted by these highly statistically significant study results, which give us confidence that the CSD500 product will gain marketing approval and, once launched, be a commercial success,” the chief executive, James Barder, said.

A statement on the company web site details how the revolutionary condom will work, touting an amazing Viagra like ability to allow for maximum pleasure for both sexual partners. Human trials on 108 healthy couples recently came to a climax.

The new product will “incorporate an erectogenic compound to help men maintain a full erection during intercourse…a pharmacological dose contained within the teat of the condom will be delivered to the penis.

“This will result in increased local blood flow which in turn should lead to improved rigidity, tumescence and duration of an erection.”

The “pharmacological dose” they speak of is a chemical compound called glyceryl trinitrate, otherwise known as nitroglycerin, a chemical most famous for its use in explosives. Yes, explosives.

Talk about more bang for your buck!

It is used in other medical products, primarily for its ability to widen blood vessels.

Shares did a roaring trade after the announcement,  skyrocketing 14.5 percent, just shy of a whopping 60 British pounds. Oh behave!

“We expect to get regulatory EU approval later this year and then it is a question of launching the product soon after, so the revenues are really going to hit us in 2008,” the CEO of the company moaned.

Market research had shown that “up to 80 percent of existing condom users would be interested in trying the product and, more importantly, 49 percent of non-condom users would be interested in using it as it will help them maintain an erection.” Yeah, baby!

The amazing new condom will be marketed by SSL International under the Durex brand.

I just can’t wait, till 2008! There’s nothing like increased blood flow, nothing!

Right ladies?

Right!

I’m sure all the man loving ladies of England will be happy with this product, especially if TV comedy Family Guy’s version of high class British porn rings true….

Well done, indeed!

Go on, tell the world!

Crazy Quotes For A Crazy World!

 

We scour the planet for crazy news…

And go around it! with….

The Crazy News: Quick Quotes.

Holland

“We saw something bobbing about in the sea and we decided to take it out of the water.”

Workers from a drinks stall in the Dutch resort of Zandvoort tell a tall tale about a giant Lego man that washed up on the beach.

You can even buy one of these ridiculously oversized Lego men on eBay right now! Bidding at 80 bucks US.

Germany

“In the countryside we’re used to people going at police with muck spreaders, but this was something else.”

A police spokesman discusses how a crazed farmer used his tractor and a muck spreader to ram and spray squad cars, and eluding capture for seven hours by hiding in the nearby woods, he was finally arrested by an elite police unit.

India

“Sindhudurg has the lowest decadal population growth rate of 4. Our aim is to reduce the decadal population growth rate by at least by 10 by 2010.”

Authoriies in the Indian State of Maharashtra are taking desperate measure to curb massive populating growth, offering a 5000-rupee “honeymoon package” to any couple who delays the birth of their first child by two years, and a 7500-rupee package if they can hold off for three years.

UK

“The noise just went on and on. Not for weeks but for months.”

Neighbours of Diane Duffin from Leeds, England, complain about the inccessant and very loud playing of country and western hits like 9 to 5 and Stand By Your Man at all hours of the day and night. Oh the humanity!

USA

“I know what I did was wrong.”

A Catholic priest from a small town in Colorado confesses to police about the naked late night jogging he had been doing. He had been running nude at a high school track and didn’t think anyone would be around at that time of day, but was apprehended by an off duty officer with no sense of humour.

Columbia

“It was the way he moved, the shape of the hair he was using, all of this prompted suspicions.”

A regional police chief talks about the arrest of a man dressed as a woman, who was posing as the wife of another man in an attempt to allude the authorites. He was wanted for murder and ”planning terrorist acts against the security forces.” ¡Ahora, eso está loco!

And that was yet another crazy edition of, The Crazy News: Quick Quotes…..

I need a breather after that!

Go on, tell the world!

Fat Cat! Pets start developing same diseases as their owners in record numbers.

Where’s my lasagna biatch!

In the true spirit of Garfield, pet cats in the UK are starting to get the same diseases as their owners, relishing on the lazy 21st century western lifestyle.

“The lifestyle of cats, just like their owners, is changing. They are tending to eat too much, gain weight and take less exercise. Unfortunately, just like people, cats will overeat if they are offered too much tasty food, particularly if they are bored and have little else to do.

“While cats would naturally exercise outside, many cats are now house-bound — perhaps because they live in a flat or because their owners feel that it is too dangerous to let them out — so they have little to do all day but eat, sleep, and gain weight,” said Professor Danielle Gunn-Moore from the University of Edinburgh.

The fattening of the UK population of cats parralels that of the human population and has led to a sharp rise in the cases of diabetes in felines.

Among the breeds, Burmese cats are three times more likely to develop the disease.

Tips for all you cat keepers in having a healthy pet cat include:

Choose a healthy, natural cat food

Lots of foods are full of artificial additives, sugars and cereals and not enough meat. Look for natural dry foods with at least 26 per cent meat and wet foods that have more than 80 per cent meat

Feed the correct amount

Follow the guidelines on the packaging rather than just feeding to your cat’s appetite

Small regular meals

Don’t leave food down all day. Instead, give your cat small regular meals when it is hungry

Avoid titbits and treats

Leftovers tend to be very fatty and treats are usually rich in sugars, so avoid letting your cat snack between meals

Make your cat work for its food

Rather than serve the food openly in a dish, hide it. You can buy specially designed toys in which to hide dry or wet foods, or you can improvise Exercise

Introduce exercise gradually

If you have a fat cat it will need to be eased into it. Cats are not like dogs. There are no set targets and you cannot force them to exercise

Playtime

Rubber balls, a ball of wool or any toy with catnip in it should really get them going. Activity centres with scratching posts and hanging toys are a good way of interesting them in exercise

Walkies

You can buy harnesses to take your cat out for a walk. It is not for every cat, but some will benefit

The RSPCA has a website with advice for animal lovers about how to keep their pets in shape: www.petsgetslim.co.uk .  

Source: timesonline.co.uk

 Hey, after all that, maybe even you can get in shape just like your pet cat.

Go on, tell the world!

Crazy Quotes: Pencil Head, Roadkill Artwork, Snailfest Fun, & No Food in the Toilets,

Around the World with…

The Crazy News: Quick Quotes. 

    Roadkill…

France

“Many enthusiasts would eat five to seven dozens in a single meal.”

The organiser of a snail eating festival talks about the record 100,800 gastropods consumed by punters in Digoin east of Paris.

China

“It is not proper to sell soft drinks or snacks right at the toilets.”

Officials in Beijing have decided to move food stalls located near public toilets, just in time for next years Olympic Games. How nice of them.

Germany

“The pencil went right through my skin — and disappeared into my head.”

A 59-year-old woman finally had a pencil removed from her brain it was lodged there since she was a toddler. At the time no one dared operate, but now technology has improved sufficiently for doctors to be able to remove it. Sounds like an episode of The Simpsons….

Australia

“Failure to provide these might compromise the post-mortem evaluation of markedly obese individuals, in addition to potentially jeopardizing the health of mortuary staff.”

A report in Sydney shows that fat and heavy corpses are creating safety issues in the nations mortuaries.  Pathologists are calling for new “heavy-duty” autopsy facilities to cope. Yipes!.

UK

“The work I do is aggressive and pulls no punches.”

English artist Adam Morrigan who makes sculptures from roadkill has put a 1 million pound price on his latest piece of work. As yet there have been no interested buyers. I wonder why…?

 The old crayon in the brain….

Go on, tell the world!

It’s a fake!: ‘Van Gogh’ Painting connected to Rupert Murdoch proven near worthless.

Ouch!

  How embarrasing!

Like something out of a classic Hollywood thriller…

A self portait painting supposedly created in 1886 by legendary artist Vincent van Gogh, purported to be worth Australian $25 million (US $21.5 million), has been proven to be a fake.

The painting called ‘Head of a man’ was bought to Australia by the father of media billionare Rupert Murdoch, Sir Keith Murdoch, and has been with the National Gallery of Victoria collection since just before World War 2.

But when the painting went on a tour to Europe, experts in Amsterdam tested the painting regarded as “offbeat” and an “oddity”, by Van Gogh specialists.

Last year The Sunday Times in London published claims by Van Gogh specialists that the work had been incorrectly attributed.

And today, it was announced that those claims have proven accurate.

The gallery said there would be a “downwards adjustment” in the painting’s value when the Victorian state gallery revalues its collection next year.
 

Downward adjustment indeed!

Not so stary, stary anymore…..

Go on, tell the world!

Crazy Quotes: Kinder-squirrel, winning the lottery twice!, momma’s “blockhead” boy, & hand amputations…

 

Around the World with….

The Crazy News: Quick Quotes. 

UK 

“It’s beginning to sink in, we are going on holiday first…and then think about what we are going to do for the rest of our lives.”

A British man tells a news conference about how he won the lottery twice. He thought he had been one of four people to share in 2.4 million pounds, when he realised he had another ticket in his wallet, taking his winnings to nearly a million pounds.

Columbia

“If you get a call telling you to turn off your handset, contact the authorities.”

A local Bogota news program advises viewers after a wave of incidents involving telephone users being duped by criminals who pose as phone operators and instruct users to turn off their handsets just long enough to demand ransom from their families.

Italy

“My son does not respect me, he doesn’t tell me where he’s going in the evenings and returns home late…He is never happy with the food I make and always complains. This can’t go on.”

The Sicilian mother of a (get this) 61-year-old man has cut off his allowance and hauled him to the police station because he stayed out late.

Apparently most Italian men still live at home late into their 30s, enjoying their “mamma’s” cooking, washing and ironing. You learn something new every day!

Nepal

“He offered special worship at the temple this morning. After the worship, he chopped off his right hand and offered to the temple of Goddess Kali”

23-year-old Hindu man gives his hand the chop.

Finland

“It removes the foil carefully, eats the chocolate and leaves the store with the toy.”

A manager in Helsinki explains how a very naughty squirrel with a sweet tooth has been stealing kinder surprises on a regular basis from his grocery shop.

He’s even named the little devil ‘Kinder-squirrel’.

Go on, tell the world! Bookmark this story.

Evidence for Princess Diana death conspiracy?

 Welcome to The Crazy News Blog!

 

Too crazy to be true?

New evidence emerges 10 years after the death of a Princess.

“There are powers at work in this country about which we have no knowledge”

That’s what Queen Elizabeth told Paul Burrell the butler of late Princess Diana of Wales who died 10 years ago this month.

What on earth did that statement mean?

It’s a quote that arose in news reports back in 2002 and it stirred up the already speculative conspiracy theories that have circulated since much of the world mourned one of the most high profile figures in history.

And now, the conspiracy theorists may have fresh meat to add to the speculation that Diana did not die in a tragic accident, but was murdered.

According to the London tabloid, The Daily Express, French fire-fighter Christophe Pelat claims to have evidence linking the Diana car accident in a Paris tunnel in 1997 to a paparazzi photographer who was believed to have been driving the mystery car that collided with Diana’s Mercedes before it crashed.

Pelat claims that he found the burnt body of James Andanson with a gunshot wound to the head. According to the report in the Daily Express, Andanson was an informer to MI6, the UK’s special intelligence agency, and he followed the Princesses “every move” in the day’s before her death.

Diana died along with her lover Dodi Al Fayed and their chauffeur Henri Paul August 31, 1997.

Click to see the many conspiracies about the death of Diana and other amazing info on one of modern histories most intriguing figures.

OR

Click here to see the latest amazing news from The Crazy News Blog.

Crazy Weekend: World’s Biggest Condom?, Mile High Fun, A Fishy Tale & A Shark Frenzy

 

World’s Biggest Condom?

  The Weekend that was…

The mysteries of the ocean, the lust and oddities of the sky feature in this edition of…..

The Crazy News: Quick Quotes.

UK

“We got chatting and it went a bit further. And it was every man’s dream, to be honest.”

Entrepreneur and Virgin boss Richard Branson on his joining of the ‘mile high club’ at the ripe old age of 19.

Indonesia

“It was an enormous fish. It had phosphorescent green eyes and legs. If I had pulled it up during the night, I would have been afraid and I would have thrown it back in.”

Indonesian fisherman Justinus Lahama on his astonishing catch of a rare coelacanth fish. Oceanic scientists want him to reconstruct his lucky haul so they can understand the species that is at least 360 million years old and was once thought to have become extinct with the dinosaurs.

Holland

“This is a playful way of asking for attention to the problem of sexually transmitted diseases, HIV and AIDS.”

The director of Dutch Health Services explains the motivation behind a giant condom shaped hot air balloon drifting lazily across the sky at a music/motor cross festival in Lichtenvoorde.

UK

“It was horrifying. If I’d have known it was a great white at the time I would have panicked.”

A British woman shocked to have caught a Great White Shark on film in British waters. The British media are now in a ‘Jaws frenzy’.

Italy

“The people were offloaded because they failed to comply with safety instructions when the aircraft was taxiing. Two passengers stood up and refused to sit down.”

A spokesperson explains why three Qatari princesses were kicked off a flight from Milan after they refused to sit next to male passengers they did not know.

For the record it wasn’t a Virgin flight….

“I knew that giant condom would come in handy….”

Crazy: Rats hang with cats, sand made Taj Mahal, lost dog found 3000km from home, & the worlds biggest drinks bill.

 

Around the World with…

The Crazy News: Quick Quotes!

United Kingdom

“I have been in the nightclub business for 20 years and this is an all-time record.”

A barman discusses the US $210,000 (£105,800) drinks bill racked up by a mystery ‘Middle Eastern businessman’ at a London nightclub on the weekend. About 30 people partied from midnight on drinks like Dom Perignon and Belvedere Vodka.

Australia

“I can’t believe I’ll see my little fellow again.”

A dog owner expresses her relief that her lost pet had been found, 3000 (1 900miles) kilometres from home. Rusty disappeared in May from a town just outside of Sydney, and was found roaming the streets of Darwin, in Australia’s tropical north.

Germany

“The replica I created is 15 feet high and it took me 56 hours in seven days to complete it.”

Indian sculpture artist Sudarsan Patnaik talks about his sand replica of the Taj Mahal at the Berlin International Sand Sculpture Championships.

Columbia

“Here the cats play with the rats instead of attacking them.”

Veterinarian Luisa Mendez on how rats are being locked in caged with cats as part of training for a landmine detection program. Colombia is home to the world’s largest number of land mine victims. Last year, there were 1,108 victims.

UK UFO sightings video: It “reminded me of a scene from Independence Day.”

 I sure hope they come in peace!

For about half an hour on Saturday night a very strange sight occurred in the skies over the English town of Stratford-Upon-Avon, the birth place of William Shakespeare.

People poured onto the streets from pubs, restaurants and houses. Cars driving through the streets pulled over or slowed to a snail pace, as hundreds looked up into the starless night to witness what some observers said was the most extraordinary thing they had ever seen.

What the? The scene from southern England.

 The Daily Mail reports:

Hotel Chef Kern Griffiths, 26, said: “I saw five lights, we all thought they were hot air balloons at first because the glowing spheres looked like a burst of flames. But I couldn’t see any outline of the balloon itself and they were travelling far too fast.

“Suddenly someone shouted ‘look’ and there were these bright dots fizzing across the sky.

“It was weird, they way they moved did look alien. Some people reckon they’re fireworks but they were lit up in the sky for far too long, the local rugby club say they were lanterns that blew loose over the weekend but these objects were far too fast and too high up.

“They were unlike any aircraft I’ve seen. It’s a mystery.”

The British paper quoted a UK military spokesperson who said the phenomena had nothing to do with government activity and that it was not the Ministry of Defence’s role to investigate the sightings.

  “The MoD does not have any expertise or role in respect of UFOs or flying saucer matters or to the question of the existence of extra terrestrial life forms, about which we remain totally open minded.”

CLICK: Video of the England UFO

Meanwhile Chinese newspaper The Shainghai Daily reported that a audio tape recording of a civilian pilot witnessing a UFO in 1991 had been released.

The recording has been kept by Wu Jialu, former senior engineer with the Shanghai Aircraft Design and Research Institute. He said equipment needed to analyze the report wasn’t available until now.

The following is a transcript of the conversation.

Airport dispatcher (A): 3603, what did you see?

3603: I took off, flying about seven sea miles (13 kilometers) at the Course 28 degrees. I found an unidentified flying object right at my front. It was three meters to five meters in length. It’s red and it looks like it is spraying fire. It’s flying to the northeast. I turned slightly to the north and the object was farther and farther from my plane. It’s moving fast and suddenly it turned around.

I flew about 20 sea miles (37 kilometers). It is moving southeast. It’s flying lower and lower. I turned a little to the west. It turned around suddenly to the north again. It turned black.

It separated into two, one ball on the upper side and one cube below it. The two objects flew northeast for a while and then they turned to the northwest. They climbed up and disappeared. They came out, and disappeared again.

A: I got it.

The truth is out there people!

A discussion on the UFO phenomenon sweeping the world since 1947 on CNN (Larry King Live)

Go on, tell the world! Bookmark this story.

What the? English farm offers to marry you’re pets!

A farm in England is offering to marry your pets.

The BBC reports

The ceremonies, which include a cake and a minister, cost from £100, about US$100.

It is thought to be one of the first services of its kind in the country.

The farm’s owners said they had already booked in seven animal weddings at the venue.

Sarie Goldstraw, who runs the farm, said: “One of the things that I’ve found is that if people are getting married and they both have a dog then if they are all going to have to live together, which includes the dogs.

“We therefore have a service to celebrate those people’s unions and that of the pets also in the home.”

Perhaps these two dogs, making headlines recently, would like to get married?

Wendy the Whippet, the most muscly dog in Canada…

&

Reluctant media star

Sampson the “biggest dog” in Britain?

I wonder what their babies would look like ?

Better yet, I wonder if Tori Spelling (“90210″) will be carrying out the ceremonies?

That’s right, she’s an ordained minister now, apparently…

US media reports: 

The actress says she completed the program online and already performed her first wedding ceremony at the bed and breakfast she owns with her husband.

After the ceremony she said it was the scariest thing she’s ever done.

Maybe I should change the blog name to The Scary News!

Scientists figure out why we hate/love Barbra Streisand.

 

Love it?

Or

Hate it?

An Australian researcher claims to have discovered why singers like Barbra Streisand and Barry Manilow; make people (like me) feel either angry and irritated, or happy and uplifted, Australian Broadcasting Corp reports.

Dr Emery Schubert says he had a gut instinct aboeut why some people found some songs schmalzy, while others found the tunes uplifting and inspiring.

But he decided to find out for sure by studying people’s reactions to songs.

“We know, psychologically, that one of the things that makes people like music is simply familiarity,” Dr Schubert said.

“So if you know a piece of music well enough you will start to like it.

“You may well attribute it to the features of the music – something about the melody and the harmony and so forth, but we also do note there’s a psychological effect.

“The other issue that [I was] interested in [was] the emotional effect.

“The new research that’s just come out is identifying a new measure, a new feature. Basically it comes down to this – if you can measure the emotion that a piece of music is trying to convey, and if you rate that by the particular listener, you [can] also measure the emotion that the listener is experiencing as a result of listening, and you take the difference of those two you get what’s called the ‘Differential Affect Gap’.

“The bigger that gap is – so, for example, if the piece of music expresses a lot of emotion but you are left unmoved by it, it’s a big Differential Affect Gap.

“What seems to happen is that when that’s big, people don’t like the music as much. When the two measures are connected, if they’re congruent between the expressed emotion and the felt emotion, people tend to like the piece more.”

Man arrives for wedding 1 year too early, travels 5600kms before realising.

 The Crazy News Tool of the Week

Talk about unfashionably early.

An expat Welshman flew across the Atlantic from Canada, expecting to attend a wedding, only to find out when he arrived that it wasn’t to occur in 2007 but in 2008, British media reports.

David Best sent friend David Barclay an email at the start of 2007 which mentioned his wedding date of July 6.

Despite receiving no invitation, and thinking it was a bit odd to have a wedding on a Friday, expat teacher Barclay nonetheless booked his flights and jetted the 5600km from Toronto to Cardiff, in Wales.

“I booked my ticket, paid $1175 to fly into Cardiff, got the old suit cleaned, the goatee trimmed, the head shaved – I was going to be the belle of the ball,” Mr Barclay told BBC Radio.

“I called his mum to find his number and then I called him up and I said, ‘When and where is this wedding? It’s in a couple of days and I’d just like to know where I’m going.’

“He said to me, ‘Mate, it’s not this year, it’s next year. 2008 not 2007.”

Only then did a whole list of other strange occurrences start to make any sense.

“I called his mum up and she didn’t mention it at all. I didn’t get an invitation, it was just on an email and I mentioned it to a friend we’re both friends with and he didn’t know what I was talking about,” Mr Barclay said.

“All these things came together and I thought, ‘Oh no, you berk.’ I’m a year early and my mates are loving it, aren’t they?

“At least it has assured me a mention in the speech next year, I reckon. Same time next year – I’ll be there.”

Video: Civilian man hijacks army tank, crushes car.

 

The British Army sounds like fun.

A 22 (going on 12) year-old man has faced court in the UK after he strolled into a military hanger, jumped into the driver’s seat of warrior tank, pushed the on button and destroyed a small car.

Jack Carroll was staying on base in North Yorks with a friend who is in the British Army when he decided it would be a fun idea to take out a parked car and have the whole thing filmed and put on the internet.

The video shows the warrior tank moving slowly toward a small white car, panning across, as it runs it over, completely crushing it. The tank was not damaged in any way.

Prosecutors told the court that “when the vehicle stops the person holding the camera moves to the front of the vehicle and the recording ends with a picture of the driver in the driver’s seat looking out and quite plainly gleeful at what he has just done.”

Outside court the naughty lad’s mother, Tina, said: “It is lucky he was a good intentioned young lad not a terrorist who got in that vehicle I think the Army must bear responsibility too.”

Carroll was given a one year driving ban, 200 hours community service and a small fine.

Sounds like it may have been worth it.

The video (BBC News video)  

When not at war, soldiers just love to crush cars for fun.

Just what you pay your taxes for.

Spice Girls Back!, be afraid, be very afraid.

 

A few years ago all the rage in fashion was 70’s and then 80’s inspired looks, and now after more than 9 years since splitting, the quintessential 90’s pop band, The Spice Girls are back. Oh shit!

Yes, Scary, Baby, Ginger, Posh and Sporty are set to make a comeback and introduce themselves to a new generation of uber cool 00’s kids, after a press conference in London.

Video from press conference.

 The ladies will play 11 live shows in 8 countries around the world to support a greatest hits album which comes out later this year.

The tour dates are as follows:

2007

December 7 – Los Angeles

December 8 – Las Vegas

December 11 – New York City

December 15 – London

December 20 – Cologne

December 23 – Madrid

2008

January 10 – Beijing

January 12 – Hong Kong

January 17 – Sydney

January 20 – Cape Town

January 24 – Buenos Aires

The girls promised to perform all their classic hits during the show.

But they refused a challenge to sing live at the press conference in response to a report that their voices will be digitally enhanced on the tour.

“We don’t need to prove anything,” Mel C said.

The tour will be supported by a documentary which claims it will show the definitive story of the Spice Girls.

Halliwell said: “It’s going to be the most honest story that you’ve ever heard. You get to see the dark side of the Spice Girls, the gritty side, the tears.”

“I like to think our songs are universal and they are timeless. Hopefully, the young’uns will like it too,”Geri Halliwell,the oldest of the group gushed.

They sold more than 55 million records around the world, and even starred in a film, Spice World, after forming in 1994.

 Melanie Brown (Scary Spice)

 Melanie Chrisholm (Sporty Spice)

  Emma Bunton (Baby Spice)

 Victoria Beckham (Posh Spice)

  Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice)

Ouch!, man gets testie ripped off by crazed woman…

   Testicle for dinner anyone?

What a nut case!

A woman has been jailed after she ripped off her former boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands. The woman apparently went into a frenzied rage after her ex rejected her advances at the end of a house party in Liverpool, England.

24 year old Amanda Monti pulled off 37 year old Geoffrey Jones’ left testicle and then tried to swallow it, not a misprint. After deciding not to devour the fresh man sack, she spat it out. Then amazingly a friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: “That’s yours.”

  Jailed.

Amanda Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years by Judge Charles James.

The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term but “open relationship” with Monti towards the end of May 2007.

The pair remained freinds and on 30 May this year she picked him up from a party where they went back to the man’s house for drinks with other friends.

An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them.

In his statement, Mr Jones said Ms. Monti grabbed his genitals and “pulled hard”.

“That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain.”

The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones’s testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it.

She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.

In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done.

She said: “It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person.”

The letter added: “I have challenged myself to explain what has happened but still I just cannot remember. This has caused much anguish to me and will do for the rest of my life.”

Very, very disturbing stuff..

   Real human testicle. University of Utah.

More fun with balls…

Chancellor shows us her tits, via photoshop.

Got milk?

A conservative Polish news magazine Wpropst (you need to know Polish if you click that), has gone soft-core porn and stirred up a fuss ,which as you can see, is a little bit of an eye catcher.

The politics and society magazine chose to take the visual dig at the Chancellor of Germany Angela Merkel, and Poland’s ruling twins Jaroslaw and Lech Kaczynski, after complex pole-itical (yes I know, lame) agreements were made between the countries at a European summit recently.

“Germany used to be Poland’s principal partner in the West,” it said. “Now it has become our prosecutor-in-chief,” the mag wrote.

London newspapers reported that the article argued:

 Germany was treating its eastern neighbour neo-colonially and refusing to accept it as a European partner and accused Dr Merkel of humiliating Poland at the summit because she was full of complexes.

 A Polish media watchdog said the publication “overstepped the limits of good taste”.
 

“Dont mention the war!”

During the same summit that prompted the magazine cover, the Polish Prime Minister Jaroslaw Kaczynski said that Polands’ population would be a lot larger if so many had not been killed by the Nazis in World War 2.

Errr, awkward.

How do twins become President and Prime Minister of a country anyway?

Speaking of awkward….

Faulty Towers classic.

Stripper greets air passangers in London.

Airline passengers from far and wide flying to and from Gatwick Airport near London, UK, have looked out their windows to see a massive outline of a woman pole dancer advertising a mobile phone pornography service.

The 100,000 square foot (9,300 square meter) advertisement is close to invisible onthe ground, but can be seen clealy from the air.

The giant ambush ad was made without permission from the local Tandridge District Council and a spokesperson for the local government said legal action would be taken if it was not removed.

Sports Media Gaming Ltd, the company who concocted the ad, said the council had no grounds for removing it. “I think they’re unsure about their own regulations to be honest,” said director Stephen Pearson.

The company said that it will refuse to remove the advertisment.

Nude cycling the new in-thing.

Last week in Amsterdam it was cycling nude for art, this week in cities across Europe and North America they were doing it in the name of the environment, or something.

Under the slogan “As Bare As You Dare,” protesters felt the wind in their hair — and everywhere else — as they pedalled along demonstrating the risks they face on the roads and the impact that cars have on the environment.

Authorities generally turned a blind eye to one of the world’s more outlandish environmental protests, apart from in Paris where five of the unabashed riders were arrested for so-called “sexual exhibition.”

Most of the 400 people, including 160 on bikes, gathered for the Paris event decided that discretion was the better part of valour and fearing arrest redonned clothes and dispersed.

Many had turned their bodies into human placards, writing slogans or humorous messages across their stomachs or on their backs. “Warning: fragile!”, one said, “Warning: flesh!” another.

In London, 700 cyclists in various states of undress were reported to have gambolled through central London in another leg of the World Naked Bike Ride, while similar events happened in Manchester, Southampton and York.

The nude cyclists — and others with strategically-placed body paint, sticky tape or bum bags — began their ride at Hyde Park and finished in Wellington Arch, a route of about six miles (10 kilometres).

“We are seeing an increasing number of stories of melting ice caps and Antarctica crumbling away and no government is doing anything serious about this,” said Martin Ireland, one of the riders.

“They are paying lip service to the problem so people have been taking to their bikes, unclothed, to express their feelings about it.”

Video: Nudist bikers run riot.

Loch Ness Monster bounty, $2million could be yours. Rock on!

 

 As The Crazy News reported a few days ago, new video evidence caught by an Englishman has stirred renewed interest in the existence of the fabled Loch Ness monster.

 Something in the water….

And now some in the UK are cashing in on Nessie fever, offering a 1 million pound reward to anyone who can prove the actual existence of the monster.

Bookmakers William Hill are supplying up to 50,000 instant cameras to fans attending a Loch Ness pop festival in Scotland next weekend.

“We are hoping the one million pound bounty will help to solve one of the great enigmas of modern times,” William Hill spokesman Rupert Adams said.

The winner will have to offer proof that satisfies experts at London’s Natural History Museum.

The bookmakers are confident the bounty will not be claimed at the Rock Ness music festival on June 9 and 10 — they are offering odds of 250-1 about it happening in 2007

Prime Minister goes naked.

  ‘Iraq Triptych’

A 71 year old artist and sculptor protested his countries involvement in the war in Iraq by creating a drawing depicting British Prime Minister Tony Blair and his wife Cherie naked.

“I suddenly felt overcome with anger at the way Blair has messed up,”Artist Michael Sandle said. 

“There he was, elected by a huge majority, and he has allowed his vanity to destroy it all.”

The work, in charcoal and chalk, is based on medieval paintings of Adam and Eve being banished from the Garden of Eden. The centre of the drawing shows Tony and Cherie blair on the steps of their residence, 10 Downing Street, and side panels show Iraqi civilians being abused by British troops.

The art work is the centrepiece of the Royal
Academy’s Summer Exhibition.

 Michael Saddle, not happy with his PM

 Blair sporting a trendy mullett

Cock out, tit in.

 Vistit http://www.thecrazynewsblog.com for more wacky stories!

The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds in the UK has banned the word cock from its website. Visitors to the site found that cock had been replaced with asterisks, however the species, tit, remains.

“As bird lovers will know, a Parus Major is a great tit and while cocks do not get past the forum censor, tits do not cause offence. I’ve heard of PC but that is taking things too far,” said one web site user.

 A worker claimed the word had been replaced because of software filters but an RSPB spokesman said it preferred to describe birds as either male or female.

Sexsomnia, happening in a bedroom near you!

      People are still having sex.

You can add sex to the roster of unlikely sleep behaviors known as parasomnias, which range from sleep driving to sleep eating, say psychological health experts.

“Sleepsex” or “sexsomnia” as it is being called occours during partial arousal from deep sleep, when the brain regions devoted to higher thought, judgment and reasoning are shut down, and areas governing more primitive functions (such as locomotion, eating and sex) are still active.

“One man had been initiating intercourse on almost a nightly basis,” says a psychologist about one case of sleepsex. That was apparently fine with his wife, until “one night he started snoring.” In another case, a female sexsomniac routinely groped her husband. Whenever he responded, “she would wake up and accuse him of forcing sex on her while she slept.”

Not all cases of sleepsex are so amusing. Canadian Jan Luedecke had a history of sleepwalking. One night he’d been drinking at a party and found himself sacked out on the couch with a woman he’d met there. Hours later, she jolted him awake and demanded to know what he was doing. Luedecke claimed he was unaware he was having sex with her. “Under the law, if there’s no intent to commit a crime, you haven’t committed a crime,” says Dr. Colin Shapiro, director of the Youthdale Child and Adolescent Sleep Center in Toronto, who testified for the defense. Luedecke was acquitted (to the outrage of women’s organizations in Canada), and the case is now on appeal.

The condition is highly treatable with the generic anti-anxiety drug clonazepam. Seeking help can only work to a sufferer’s advantage. After all, if you’re going to have sex, you might as well enjoy it.

A cup (or 4) of tea a day keeps the doctor away.

 

“Ahh yes, jolly good I say!”

Health researchers in Britain say tea can have positive benifits againsts heart disease and some cancers, as well as being a good drink to re-hydrate.  Polyphenol antioxidants are found in many foods and plants, including tea leaves, and have been shown to help prevent cell damage.

Other health benefits seen included protection against tooth plaque and potentially tooth decay, plus bone strengthening. “Drinking tea is actually better for you than drinking water. Water is essentially replacing fluid. Tea replaces fluids and contains antioxidants so it’s got two things going for it”, said public health nutritionist Dr Carrie Ruxton at Kings College London.

Dr Ruxton’s team found average tea consumption was just under three cups per day. She said the increasing popularity of soft drinks meant many people were not drinking as much tea as before.

“Tea drinking is most common in older people, the 40 plus age range. In older people, tea sometimes made up about 70% of fluid intake so it is a really important contributor,” she said.

Ginger gene drives UK family from home.

              Don’t worry, be happy.

They have been a source of cheap ridicule by many in society for centuries, and one all red haired family in the UK has reportedly had to move three times to escape taunts, violence and even graffiti. Kevin and Barbara Chapman say they and their four children have endured three years of attacks and abuse.

           The chapman kids.

In the latest incident, they came home to find abusive slogans painted on their property. Even as the family discussed another move with social workers last week, they returned to find smashed windows.

Mr. Chapman, 49, said his 10-year-old daughter Ryelle and sons Daniel, 10 and Jordan, 13, had also been badly affected. Each time the family move the hate mob reappears, he says.

He said: “The abuse we get is unbelievable. It started more than three years ago, when the kids started getting bullied by lads over the colour of their hair.

“They’ve been punched and kicked and thrown over a hedge. Every time they go out these gangs get to them.

“We can’t even go to the local shops which are only two minutes away. The kids get all their stuff taken off them.”

Viagra for contraception?

 

A new study in the UK suggests taking Viagra may effect sperm functionality and lead to infertility.

In their experiments, Dr. David R. J. Glenn and colleagues observed that exposure of cultured sperm to Viagra, compared to no exposure, led to a “premature acrosome reaction.” Acrosomes are structures that cover the head of the sperm and contain a variety of enzymes that help the sperm penetrate the outer membrane of the egg.

“Given that the majority of sperm acrosome react on exposure to (Viagra), the drug may cause significant impairment to their fertilizing potential,” they write.

This is a concern, Glenn and colleagues say, given that Viagra and other like-drugs are widely available on the Internet and are increasingly being used “recreationally” by young healthy men of reproductive age as sexual enhancers — not just by older men who have erectile dysfunction.

So if your using Viagra and want kids, I’de stop. But if youre not interesting in having a young one you can train up to become the next Tiger Woods,  party on fellas! ;)