Shayma Tash. The Worlds Hottest Female Comedian?

Shayma Tash is a rising star, the Californian stand up comedian is set for TV stardom after shooting a pilot for NBC. Shes been making quite a name for herself of late…which begs the question…is Shayma Tash the hottest female comedian in the world? We say yes if this picture is anything to go by…MORE Pictures of Shayma Tash FROM Hotties In The News.

Hot Shot: Naked blonde stuns shoppers in Germany, as Europe heats up.

The Crazy News: Shot of the Week

Yeah baby, she’s got it!

Well, well, well…What’s all this then?

German media are reporting on some very unusual activity occurring in the German town of Doemitz.

A 30-something naked blonde woman, as pictured above, was snapped on a digital camera by a stunned local as she left a petrol station convenience store wearing nothing but golden stilettos and a bracelet.

Nothing else….

And as you can see, she appears to be tattooed. Do tattoos count as clothing?

NO!

Or is she wearing some kind of body paint/body stocking? Either way, she’s looking mighty hot, on what was a mighty hot day in continental Europe.

The mystery blonde bought 6 packets of cigarettes from petrol station employee Ines Swoboda late on the sweltering Sunday afternoon and then returned to a waiting Ferrari F430, before zooming off.

“I wasn’t surprised because she’s come in naked before — she’s a very nice woman,” Swoboda said, adding none of the other customers were bothered.

Although some of the males in the store at the time were seen mysteriously despairing into the toilets afterwards, must have drunk too much beer on Saturday night…

Whatever the case, this naked blonde sure likes showing off her skin and those lovely tattoos, or whatever that is (help me out here).

Whatever the facts, it sure does look like she might have gained a hell of a lot more attention than she bargained for.

The Crazy News will keep you updated on any further naked developments…

Hot in Europe! Literally…

Meanwhile in Serbia, three tourists were arrested for cycling in the nude in a bid to beat the sweltering and deadly heat wave sweeping parts of the European continent.

Surprise, surprise one of the three nudes was a German, the other two Austrian.

All three men were fined 250 Euros each for disrupting public peace.

They must have thought the World Naked Bike Ride was on. One month too late fellas.

Got Naked Cycling?

For Nude Cycling Crazy News Story click HERE.

Go on, tell the world! Bookmark this story.

Video: Jagshemash! Borat hijacks Tour de France

 

Kazakhstan’s favourite son delighted commentators, TV viewers and cyclists alike yesterday during le Tour de France.

Sporting his famous mankini, the world famous Borat was seen running up a steep hill attempting to keep up with the peloton with all his might.

Very Nice!

Update 2:
Well, well. The drama and excitement and general craziness of Le Tour continued yesterday. This time TV news bulletins the world over were carrying pictures of mans best friend being ploughed into by a rider.

What was that French dog doing on the course? We may never know.

Update: Pizza with a side of porn, big hit with the ladies.

 ”Hungry for more than just pizza?”

 

Sex sells, it’s the old cliché, but its true.

Some smart entrepreneurial moves in western Canada sees every box of pizza coming with a free erotic picture “that would make Larry Flynt blush”.

Porno Pizza in Winnipeg has been doing brisk business since opening last week, titillating the hungry with racy pictures at the bottom of every pizza box.

“They range from softly-lit, lube-on-the-lens pictures like in Playboy, to raunchy, hardcore photos,” owner Corey Wildeman said.

“The image is revealed as you eat the pizza.”

The “ultra erotic” marketing gimmick has attracted “scowls” from some observers, “hooting and hollering” from others and at least one “drive-by flashing” of breasts, he said.

“We live in a society that is so steeped in porn that people have it delivered to the dinner table,” Roz Prober of child advocacy group Beyond Borders lamented in the Winnipeg Free Press.

Indeed, Mr Wildeman, 30, is already in talks with potential partners to open franchises across Canada after selling hundreds of pizzas in one week.

“You’ll never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator,” he explained.

“Everyone knows – sex sells.”

Wildeman said he came up with the idea for the naughty pizzeria while talking with friends about classic porn flicks in which “pizza delivery guys meet lonely ladies and deliver more than just pizza”.

Unexpectedly, more than 75 per cent of his customers turned out to be women.

Pizza Porn, coming to a pizza box near you. Yum, yum!

Update: I’ve just discovered the web site of this fantastic concept!

Pizzaporno.ca

Combos include: ‘Missionary Position’ (sounds boring), ‘Mr. Big’ (obviously named after me), and ‘Climax’, which includes every topping.

If your in Canada you have to try it and tell me all about it!

I would if I could!

Swedish design chain Ikea wants you to sleep in-store over night!

Consumerism gone crazy?

Haven’t yet finished the shopping you wanted at Ikea, and the store looks like it’s about to close. Oh no! Guess you better head for the exits…Or do you?

No need to worry folks, you can stay in the store overnight, not a problem.

The Guardian reports:

“It will be like an alternative hostel,” said Frode Ullebust, a company spokesman. “There will be the regular dormitory with lots of beds stacked up together. We will also have a bridal suite, with a round bed and a hanging chandelier, and the luxury suite, where customers can enjoy breakfast in bed.”.

Every night the 30 customers permitted to sleep over will be able to stock up on meatballs, Norwegian salmon and cranberry mousse as Ikea is offering free dinner and breakfast. “The shop opens at 10am so if they are lazy, people might get woken up by shoppers testing out their mattresses,” Ullebust said.

Customers will also be able to take their bedsheets home. “It’s a nice souvenir,” he added. “We will also give them bathrobes with the Ikea Hostel logo on, and some slippers, so they won’t get cold at night.”

Now that’s just plain awesome. How much for the luxury suite I should wonder? Sounds like one hell of an idea for a honeymoon.

The crazy new idea will be tested in two Oslo, Norway warehouses. No word yet on the concept catching on in other parts of the world.

Sure hope it does!

It all begs the question, where did this sleep over Ikea idea come from?

Well, I’ve got a sneaking suspicion it must have been from this recent Aussie comedy sketch…

Man fakes own kidnapping, found bound and gagged.

 

Now we all have our troubles with work colleagues throughout our working lives and some people will do absolutely anything to get out of work for various reasons, but this is just ridiculous.

A man has faked his own kidnapping in a truly bizarre attempt to avoid going to work.

The 22-year-old Japanese navy officer was found on Tuesday with his mouth gagged and hands tied in the bushes off a road in Kanagawa prefecture near Tokyo, police said.

He initially said he was assaulted and kidnapped by a robber.

But questioned further by police, who found his story suspicious, he admitted to have made it up, a spokesman said.

The man apparently thought that if he feigned being the victim of a robbery, he could avoid work, where he was having trouble with co-workers. “He said he was getting tired of work as he was caught between his superiors and subordinates,” the police spokesman said.

US Presidential election gets hot, sexy and a little more narcissistic.

   Taryn Southern

  Amber Lee Ettinger

 The candidates.

US Presidential politcs is like, so hot right now.

First there was “Obama Girl”, a youtube hit from June, and now a former American Idol contestant and actress Taryn Southern, is looking for some cheap exposure; cashing in on election 2008 mania.

“Hot4Hill” is the latest video sweeping the internets, and it’s gotten saucey, with Taryn going for a girl on girl feel, professing her love for the Senator from New York, Hillary Clinton.

The story:

The full ‘Hot4Hill’ video:

& 

“I’ve got a crush on Obama”

No laughing matter, humour comprehension decreases with age, study.

 

Here’s a joke for you.

Three guys and a lady were sitting at a bar talking about their professions.

The first guy says ” I’m a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know… Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist.”

The second guy says “I’m a D.I.N.K, you know… Double Income, No Kids.”

The third guy says, ” I’m a R.U.B, you know… Rich, Urban, Biker.”

They turn to the woman and ask her, ” What are you? “

She replies: ” I’m a WIFE, you know…
Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”

 Laughter

Didn’t get it? Well, yes it was a little sexist and lame but…

A new study suggests that an individual’s comprehension of humour actual decreases the older you get, well duh’.

msnbc.com has the details.

The research indicates that because older adults may have greater difficulty with cognitive flexibility, abstract reasoning and short-term memory, they also have greater difficulty with tests of humor comprehension.

Researchers at Washington University tested about 40 healthy adults over age 65 and 40 undergraduate students with exercises in which they had to complete jokes and stories. Participants also had to choose the correct punch line for verbal jokes and select the funny ending to series of cartoon panels.

Test showed that the younger adults did 6 percent better on the verbal jokes and 14 percent better on the comic portion than did older participants.

“There are basic cognitive mechanisms to understanding what’s going on in a joke. Older adults, because they may have deficits in some of those cognitive areas, may have a harder time understanding what a joke is about.”

Scientists figure out why we hate/love Barbra Streisand.

 

Love it?

Or

Hate it?

An Australian researcher claims to have discovered why singers like Barbra Streisand and Barry Manilow; make people (like me) feel either angry and irritated, or happy and uplifted, Australian Broadcasting Corp reports.

Dr Emery Schubert says he had a gut instinct aboeut why some people found some songs schmalzy, while others found the tunes uplifting and inspiring.

But he decided to find out for sure by studying people’s reactions to songs.

“We know, psychologically, that one of the things that makes people like music is simply familiarity,” Dr Schubert said.

“So if you know a piece of music well enough you will start to like it.

“You may well attribute it to the features of the music – something about the melody and the harmony and so forth, but we also do note there’s a psychological effect.

“The other issue that [I was] interested in [was] the emotional effect.

“The new research that’s just come out is identifying a new measure, a new feature. Basically it comes down to this – if you can measure the emotion that a piece of music is trying to convey, and if you rate that by the particular listener, you [can] also measure the emotion that the listener is experiencing as a result of listening, and you take the difference of those two you get what’s called the ‘Differential Affect Gap’.

“The bigger that gap is – so, for example, if the piece of music expresses a lot of emotion but you are left unmoved by it, it’s a big Differential Affect Gap.

“What seems to happen is that when that’s big, people don’t like the music as much. When the two measures are connected, if they’re congruent between the expressed emotion and the felt emotion, people tend to like the piece more.”

Juror: I’m a liar, homophobe & racist. Judge: Arrest that man!

 

I’ve never had to endure jury duty before and I’ve always thought to myself what I could do to get myself out of it if and when the call ever comes (touch wood it doesn’t).

A friend of mine once suggested that if the call up does come, I tell the judge in the case that I have certain anti-social attributes that might allow an excuse to go home. Well, before I got my chance to try someone in the United States had a go, and boy did it backfire!

A man called up for jury duty in Cape Code, Massachusetts, who claimed he was homophobic, racist and a habitual liar to avoid jury duty earned an angry rebuke from a judge; CNN reports the hilarious exchange between citizen and the state.

“In 32 years of service in courtrooms, as a prosecutor, as a defense attorney and now as a judge, I have quite frankly never confronted such a brazen situation of an individual attempting to avoid juror service,” Barnstable Superior Court Judge Gary Nickerson told Daniel Ellis, according to a preliminary court transcript of the exchange.

Ellis, of Falmouth, had been called to court with about 60 other potential jurors for possible service on a 23-member grand jury.

On a questionnaire that all potential jurors fill out, Ellis wrote that he didn’t like homosexuals and blacks. He then echoed those sentiments in an interview with Nickerson.

“You say on your form that you’re not a fan of homosexuals,” Nickerson said.

“That I’m a racist,” Ellis interrupted.

“I’m frequently found to be a liar, too. I can’t really help it,” Ellis added.

“I’m sorry?” Nickerson said.

“I said I’m frequently found to be a liar,” Ellis replied.

“So, are you lying to me now?” Nickerson asked.

“Well, I don’t know. I might be,” was the response.

Ellis then admitted he really didn’t want to serve on a jury.

“I have the distinct impression that you’re intentionally trying to avoid jury service,” Nickerson said.

“That’s true,” Ellis answered.

Nickerson ordered Ellis taken into custody. He was released later Monday morning.

Ellis could face perjury and other charges.

  The Cape of Cod

Wanted: Condom Testers. Best job in the world?

    G’day baby!

Sick of the usual 9-5 working day?

How about a job as a condom tester?

And the only catch is that you need to have regual sex. That couldn’t be so hard, could it?

The Australian arm of British condom company Durex is on the prowl for males to help them test their new range of protection.

Local marketing manager Sam White said any Australian over the age of 18 could apply for one of 200 positions as a condom tester.

Unfortunately the position is not paid, but successful applicants will receive a free $60 selection of Durex products and will be required to provide the company with honest feedback about the products’ performance.

One of the lucky 200 testers will win a $1000 bonus.

Applicants must explain why they would make an expert condom tester, Mr White said.

“With this job on your CV, it really will be a chance to brag to your mates about the special skills you possess, not to mention that your new role will work wonders with the opposite sex,” he said.

“Who wouldn’t want to have a chance with an actual authorised professional?”

“We see this tester position as a great opportunity to get deeper, more penetrating feedback from our customers.”

Anyone interested in the offer can apply online by visiting the Durex Australia website.

This gets me thinking…

 I’m an Australian! Maybe I should apply, although I am in need of a sex partner, due to recent lady troubles. (You don’t believe me do you?)

Any takers?

 

Video: Hot Dog! Chestnut cracks the big one.

 

As The Crazy News reported last month the dual between Joey Chestnut of the United States and Takeru Kobayashi of Japan was hotting up.

Today the rivalry crescendoed as America celebrated Independence Day with the famous Nathan’s hotdog eating contest in New York.

The American food extraordinaire beat the reigning six time Japanese champion in a thriller, breaking a new record. The nut scoffed down 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes. That’s a rate of one dog every 10.9 seconds.

Kobayashi finished second with an amazing 63 hot dogs consumed, despite the fact that he was suffering from a jaw injury and a pulled wisdom tooth.

 Here’s the exciting video:

You really get the feeling that one day someone is going to die pushing the limits of food scoffing….

Adulterous sex to bring down Chinese Communist Party?

 

In a hardening of previous policy, the Chinese government are set to crack down on government officials who have been found to have “kept and supported” mistresses, in a move aimed at ‘raising social morals’.

Mistresses and “second wives” are common among government officials and businessmen in China.

Corrupt officials are a major cause of public outrage in China, and the country’s Communist rulers have warned that if graft is not checked it could threaten the party’s grip on power.

Chinese policy makers found it ”necessary to make a clarification and emphasis” on the punishment for officials who supported mistresses.

“The morality of government officials shown in their management or power operation… directly affects the moral level of the whole society.”

“Therefore, officials should set up good examples, and abide by social morality rules.”

Last year, a Chinese vice admiral was jailed for life on embezzlement charges after one of his many mistresses blew the whistle on him when he refused to give in to her demand for money.

Sex in the office, Australia says YES! YES! YES!.

 

A survey on the work habits of Australian adults has found that 1 in 5 people claim to have had a sexual encounter in the office.

A survey by online job search website linkme.com.au said that about 20% of Aussies have not only been getting intimate at the office but also admit to doing ‘it’ during work hours.

The findings hinted at several possible reasons for Aussies getting so up close and personal with work colleagues, which also found that almost one in four Aussies had met their long term partner at work. 

Possible causes of widespread intimacy may stem from people spending more time in the office than ever before, leading to close freindships and socialising.

And colleagues who work in a similar field are likely to share interests and this is an element many people look for in a partner.

The survey found only 13 per cent of Aussies saw romantic relations in the office as unethical and a mere four percent of workers had a no fraternising clause in their contract.

Casual sex Friday?

iLoser. Sloths line up for hyped up Apple phone.

       Sloth of a time.

The Crazy News- Tool of the Week

Some people have all the time in the world.

Regular Homer Simpson, Greg Packer, is claiming his 15 minutes of fame for the second time in New York this week. Or is it the 3rd or 4th or 5th time?

The 43-year-old retired highway maintenance worker (retired? how much do they get paid) started lining up to be the first to purchase the new iPhone from Apple’s flagship store in Manhattan, 101 hours before it goes on sale 6pm Friday US eastern time.

  Apple Man

Packer has since been joined by about more than a dozen other iPhone fans and opportunists, who have also chosen to join in on the sit in, braving the concrete enhanced heat of the other famous Big Apple.

Packer says he is relying on food donations and the bathroom facilities at the Apple Store, which is open 24-hours a day.

 Sitting is fun.

This isn’t the first time our good friend has made headlines waiting for fancy new products to come on sale; he was one of the first to buy a Playstation 3 when that went on sale last November. Indeed, he even has his own wikipedia page, which says he has appeared in mainstrem media more than 100 times, quoted by various media organisations since the mid 1990’s infact.

And according to US TV news host Keith Olberman, this guy is a bit of a pest. The Associated Press even put out a memo to it’s journalists, warning them not to “indulge him”.

The iphone retails between $US499 for a 4GB memory and $US599 for one with 8.

And guess what! Our iPhone friend even has his own wordpress blog!

He’s looking for someone to donate him a comfy chair for all that sitting he’s been doing. It just goes to show, you don’t need to have much talent to be famous in America, just ask Paris Hitlon.

You also have to wonder, could this be a smart marketing stunt from the Jobs’ Apple team? Maybe you should ask..maybe I should ask. Naaa…

Update: Interview with iPhone Greg and fellow lineruperer David.

It’s a circus out there!

Meanwhile, on Friday, just hours before the iPhone went on sale in New York City, a camera crew doing a live interview had a number of those gathered in and near the line taunting and swearing at them. A bloke even tired to grab the reporter’s microphone, before being hammered to the ground by security/teamsters.

 

Zebra? Horse? Zorse!

   Let’s get it on!

   Yeah, baby!

 And I thought mules were hilarious creatures.

A steamy sexual encounter between an Italian stallion zebra and a German female horse has resulted in an amazing anomaly of nature. An animal that is half horse and have zebra. And they are calling it a Zorse, of course.

Last year the mother of the zorse was taken from her German safari park home to visit a ranch in Italy, where she was left to roam freely with a number of other zebras, when one, Ullysses took a shine to her.

Now Eclypse is a major attraction at her home safari park at Schloss Holte-Stukenbrock, near the German border with Holland.

Hybrids are not easy to create, however. The mating pair’s different number of chromosomes – the “packets” of DNA in each cell – makes a pregnancy hard to achieve.

A horse has 64 chromosomes; the zebra has 44. The zorse that results from cross-breeding will have a number of chromosomes that is somewhere in between.

The zorse can only result where the sire is the zebra.

“The smaller number of chromosomes has to be on the male side,” said Lesley Barwise-Munro, a veterinary surgeon in Alnwick, Northumberland, and a spokeswoman for the British Equine Veterinary Association.

“If it had been the other way around there would have been no pregnancy. It’s how nature works.”

And hybrids were invariably sterile.

Politician puts dog on roof for 12 hour car trip, back in the 80’s

 

In American politics, if your running for office, particularly the Presidency, it appears anything you may or may not have done in the past is fare game. No matter how trivial or serious.

Mitt Romney is a former US State Governor and is now currently seeking the nomination for President from the Republican Party (the one George W. Bush belongs to).

About 25 years ago, on one of his many family road trip holidays, Romney decided it was a good idea to strap the family pet,  Seamus, to the car roof for a 12 hour journey from Massachusetts to Canada.

And now, a quater of a century later, animal rights activists are outraged.

Time Magazine reports:

Seamus protested in a scatological way, going to the bathroom on the roof of the car.

Animal rights activists said the tale seems a little cruel.

“It is commonsense that any dog who’s under extreme stress might show that stress by losing control of his bowels: that alone should have been sufficient indication that the dog was, basically, being tortured,” Time quoted Ingrid Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals as saying.

Newkirk said it was “a lesson in cruelty that was … wrong for [his children] to witness.”

So, next time you strap your pet dog to the roof of your car for the 12 hour trip, make sure youre not running for President 25 years later, otherwise you might get yourself into trouble.

Lesson learned.

Speaking of PETA.

   PETA Pam

Spice Girls Back!, be afraid, be very afraid.

 

A few years ago all the rage in fashion was 70’s and then 80’s inspired looks, and now after more than 9 years since splitting, the quintessential 90’s pop band, The Spice Girls are back. Oh shit!

Yes, Scary, Baby, Ginger, Posh and Sporty are set to make a comeback and introduce themselves to a new generation of uber cool 00’s kids, after a press conference in London.

Video from press conference.

 The ladies will play 11 live shows in 8 countries around the world to support a greatest hits album which comes out later this year.

The tour dates are as follows:

2007

December 7 – Los Angeles

December 8 – Las Vegas

December 11 – New York City

December 15 – London

December 20 – Cologne

December 23 – Madrid

2008

January 10 – Beijing

January 12 – Hong Kong

January 17 – Sydney

January 20 – Cape Town

January 24 – Buenos Aires

The girls promised to perform all their classic hits during the show.

But they refused a challenge to sing live at the press conference in response to a report that their voices will be digitally enhanced on the tour.

“We don’t need to prove anything,” Mel C said.

The tour will be supported by a documentary which claims it will show the definitive story of the Spice Girls.

Halliwell said: “It’s going to be the most honest story that you’ve ever heard. You get to see the dark side of the Spice Girls, the gritty side, the tears.”

“I like to think our songs are universal and they are timeless. Hopefully, the young’uns will like it too,”Geri Halliwell,the oldest of the group gushed.

They sold more than 55 million records around the world, and even starred in a film, Spice World, after forming in 1994.

 Melanie Brown (Scary Spice)

 Melanie Chrisholm (Sporty Spice)

  Emma Bunton (Baby Spice)

 Victoria Beckham (Posh Spice)

  Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice)

In the drink. The one about the golfer and the gator.

 

A 50 year old amature golfer had a fun old time when his ball landed in a water hazord.

Bruce Burger was trying to retrieve his ball from a pond on the 6th when an one eyed alligotor came out of the water, grabbing Burgers tasty right arm and pulled him in.

The man used his free arm to beat the reptile in the head and was eventually freed. He was taken to hospital with minor wounds.

 “I saw him reach down to get his ball and he yelled” for help, said Janet Pallo, who was playing the fifth hole and ran over to drive the man to the clubhouse.

The pond at the sixth hole has a “Beware of Alligator” sign.

“Unfortunately, that’s part of Florida,” course general manager Rod Parry said. “There’s wildlife in these ponds.”

Talk about your water hazard.

Video: Interview with Bruce, “I’ll be Okay”.

Does this remind you of a certain one eyed alligator in the film Happy Gilmore?

Ouch!, man gets testie ripped off by crazed woman…

   Testicle for dinner anyone?

What a nut case!

A woman has been jailed after she ripped off her former boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands. The woman apparently went into a frenzied rage after her ex rejected her advances at the end of a house party in Liverpool, England.

24 year old Amanda Monti pulled off 37 year old Geoffrey Jones’ left testicle and then tried to swallow it, not a misprint. After deciding not to devour the fresh man sack, she spat it out. Then amazingly a friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: “That’s yours.”

  Jailed.

Amanda Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years by Judge Charles James.

The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term but “open relationship” with Monti towards the end of May 2007.

The pair remained freinds and on 30 May this year she picked him up from a party where they went back to the man’s house for drinks with other friends.

An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them.

In his statement, Mr Jones said Ms. Monti grabbed his genitals and “pulled hard”.

“That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain.”

The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones’s testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it.

She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.

In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done.

She said: “It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person.”

The letter added: “I have challenged myself to explain what has happened but still I just cannot remember. This has caused much anguish to me and will do for the rest of my life.”

Very, very disturbing stuff..

   Real human testicle. University of Utah.

More fun with balls…

Chancellor shows us her tits, via photoshop.

Got milk?

A conservative Polish news magazine Wpropst (you need to know Polish if you click that), has gone soft-core porn and stirred up a fuss ,which as you can see, is a little bit of an eye catcher.

The politics and society magazine chose to take the visual dig at the Chancellor of Germany Angela Merkel, and Poland’s ruling twins Jaroslaw and Lech Kaczynski, after complex pole-itical (yes I know, lame) agreements were made between the countries at a European summit recently.

“Germany used to be Poland’s principal partner in the West,” it said. “Now it has become our prosecutor-in-chief,” the mag wrote.

London newspapers reported that the article argued:

 Germany was treating its eastern neighbour neo-colonially and refusing to accept it as a European partner and accused Dr Merkel of humiliating Poland at the summit because she was full of complexes.

 A Polish media watchdog said the publication “overstepped the limits of good taste”.
 

“Dont mention the war!”

During the same summit that prompted the magazine cover, the Polish Prime Minister Jaroslaw Kaczynski said that Polands’ population would be a lot larger if so many had not been killed by the Nazis in World War 2.

Errr, awkward.

How do twins become President and Prime Minister of a country anyway?

Speaking of awkward….

Faulty Towers classic.

Give me jail! Women’s undergarment robber demands of Judge.

The Crazy News- Tool of the Week 

A judge in Colorado, USA, granted a defendent his wish to go to jail after he confesed to breaking into womens homes’ and stealing their underwear.

Prosocuters had recommended that 40 year old Steven Quatkemeyer be put under probation, as several misdemeanors and six other felony counts were dropped in exchange for a guilty plea from the thief. But probation was not enough for the drug addict, so he demanded he be put in the big house.

“I apologize to the families affected from the bottom of my heart,” a weeping Quatkemeyer told the court. “After a couple of weeks of incarceration, I realized what I had done was very wrong.”

After pleading with the Judge to be locked away, Quatkemeyer was then given a sentence of 4 years.

Defense attorney Mark Rue said Quatkemeyer felt he needed the treatment programs offered by the state prison system.

Police arrested Quatkemeyer for stealing hundreds of pairs of lingerie and panties after a victim who had been subjected to repeated break-ins installed video surveillance equipment.

Quatkemeyer said a methamphetamine addiction led him to his clandestine life of stealing, then wearing, women’s underwear.

Police found night vision goggles when they arrested him.

Thats right, he could have got off with probation, but instead he insisted he go in the big house. He got himslef 4 long years in the slamma. If this isn’t the definition of tool, I dont know what is. I trust you enjoyed the pictures.

Sexy Paris Spoof..Hilton the Fake?..And how she’s finally back to real prison..

 

Paris Hilton has been transferred out of a medical ward at a Los Angeles County jail and returned to the all-women’s facility where she began her sentence for a probation violation more than a week ago, a sheriff’s official said Thursday.

After her brief release last week after just three days behind bars caused an uproar, a judge sent Hilton, 26, back into the jail system, starting at a downtown correctional treatment center where she was to undergo medical and psychiatric exams to determine where she should be held.

The official would not elaborate on where in that facility the heiress was housed. When she began her 45-day sentence on June 3, she was confined to a solitary cell in a special needs unit away from other inmates.

 Paris Hilton’s new home from now till the end of her jail term.

Paris was moved around 11 p.m. Wednesday, to the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood, the women’s prison where she had started out.

    Americas’ sweethearts….

Meanwhile,

According to OK! maganzine, the Paris Hitlon about face we all heard about from Barbara Walters earlier in the week, has got more to do with her finances than any real remorce.

“Paris finally saw that her spoiled brat behavior and repeated attempts to escape her sentence would turn fans against her, ruining lucrative endorsement deals,” OK! reckons.

A source tells OK!: “It’s going to be hard to find an organization that actually wants her.”

And to cap off this Paris bulletin, I only do it because my traffic goes through the roof…the Paris Hitlon Music Video Jail Spoof……

Yes, the fantasitc Paris Hilton spoof video is doing the rounds here on the interweb, if you havn’t seen it yet it well worth a laugh. So ladies and gentlemen, here it is…The ‘Paris Hilton Jail Spoof Music Video’

I just can’t wait for the spoof of the spoof.

  “That’s hot”

Shawskank Redemption?

Corrupt police dogs go crazy for human females.

 

In Thailand two ace sniffer dogs who were once street mutts ran riot at an airport and have been fired. The dogs often urinated on peoples luggage and even sexually harassed female passengers.

The devilish pair, Mok and Lai, were pulled off the streets under a program initiated by King Bhumibol Adulyadej to turn strays into police dogs.

The naughty dogs who worked at northern Thailand’s Chiang Rai airport, near the border with Laos and Myanmar,  were guns at sniffing out drugs, however so many passengers complained about their outrageous attitude that authorites had no choice but to have the dogs fired.

“He liked to pee on luggage while searching for drugs inside,” Mok’s former handler, Police Lieutenant Colonel Jakapop Kamhon, said. “He also liked to hold on to women’s legs.”

“Both were just as good as foreign dogs trained for use in drug missions,” he added. “But they were stray dogs, so their manners were worse than those of foreign breeds.”

Apparenlty Mok and Lai now work on a farm, herding chickens and pigs.

College students go wild, invent booze in a packet, aim to reach “youth market”.

 

Final Year University students in The Netherlands have come up with, what I think could, or should be, one of the greatest inventions of all time.

It’s called Booz2Go, and its powdered alcohol in and instant, available in 20 gram packs. All you need to do is add water and hey presto! You have yourself your very own bubbly, lime-colored and -flavoured 3% alcoholic beverage. Brilliant!

“We are aiming for the youth market. They are really more into it because you can compare it
with Bacardi-mixed drinks,” 20-year-old Harm van Elderen says.

The students said companies interested in making the product commercially could avoid taxes because the alcohol was in powder form. A number of companies are interested, they said.

“Because the alcohol is not in liquid form, we can sell it to people below 16,” said project member Martyn van Nierop.
Well that’s a little bit irresponsible, and I thought alchohol abuse for under 18’s/21’s (depending on your country) was already a big problem.

The legal age for drinking alcohol and smoking is 16 in the Netherlands.

I’ve already chosen a slogan for the boys….”Booz2Go, coming to a High School (or nursery) near you!”
Good luck fellas!

The very odd couple, 53 years of marriage and nothing but hate.

 

A Chinese couple now in their 80’s have such a bad relationship they can only communicate with terse notes, despite the fact that they still live in the same house as one another.

Mr Toa and Mrs Yang married back in 1954 after falling in love, but soon Mrs Yang said she discovered that Mr Yang had  ”too many faults”, and as time went on their relationship deterorated signifantly.

Her husband, Mr Tao, said things got particularly bad in 1989, a time when the couple would start arguing after just a few words with each other.

The old couple have now taken themselves to court, with Mrs Yang demanding that her husband give her an allowance so she can enjoy greater independence from him. Mrs Yang, 80, has never worked and so has no income of her own.

She told the court that if she wants something she leaves her husband a note saying such things as “no toothpaste”, which he then buys.

Mrs Yang, who arrived at court separately from her husband, is demanding he give her a 450 yuan ($59) monthly allowance out of his 1,000 ($130) pension.

The court, in Beijing’s Chaoyang District, is due to make a ruling next week.

 Not Mr Tao and Mrs Yang.

The Yangs have never divorced due to the notion being socially unacceptable and taboo among the older Chinese generation.

Eating live frogs & rats does wonders for Jiang Musheng, prepare to feel queasy.

  Down the hatch….mmm crunchy.

Now, I’ve heard stories about people of various cultures around the world eat dirt, mud and clay for their perceived long term health benefits, an act called geophagy. But this is something quite ridiculous.

It’s been reported that for the last 40 years or so, a 66 year old man living in rural southeast China has been eating live frogs, mice and rats in a bid to cure his stomach pains and coughing.

Jiang Musheng of Jiangxi province told local media that when he was 26 he had chronic abdominal pains and coughing. According to the report an old man called Yang Dingcai came along and suggested he try eating tree frogs as a remedy.

“At first, Jiang Musheng did not dare to eat a live, wriggling frog, but after seeing Yang Dingcai swallow one, he ate … two without a thought…after a month of eating live frogs, his stomach pains and coughing were completely gone,” was the report in a local Chinese paper.

Musheng has been eating live frogs ever since, and has now moved onto mice, baby rats and green frogs, and once ate 20 mice in a single day. Just for kicks I suppose.

Update: It appears eating live frogs isn’t just isolated to the Chinese. Check out this jackass trying to impress his friends by eating a small frog, he isn’t very successful.

“Watch Out!” Iron Mike goes Bollywood, and he’s got a “Licence to Kill”.

  

Former heavyweight boxing champion and ear eating extodanare Mike Tyson is to star in an action thriller which would see the U.S. boxer imitate real life, India’s Mumbai Mirror said.

The former heavyweight champion featured in a promotional music video of newly released Bollywood film “Fool and Final”, but the cameo received such a positive response from viewers that the director  even incorporated the number in the film.

“I had decided to make a film with him later but after the promos featuring him received a great response, I decided to start the film sooner,” said producer Firoz Nadiadwala, who produced “Fool and Final”.

The daily said Tyson is getting a “huge price” for the new film — which will feature three top actors and be directed by a renowned filmmaker — but did not give any figure.

Tyson will play the role of a boxer, in a film expected to have a mix of drama and song and dance you would expect of your usual Bollywood film. The movie will be titled “Licence to Kill”. How original.

    “Fool and Final” babes.

 See the Tyson Bollywood promo, in all its lispy glory….

And for the “Fool and Final” theatrical trailer…it looks pretty exciting.

 yummy ear…

Prime Minister goes naked.

  ‘Iraq Triptych’

A 71 year old artist and sculptor protested his countries involvement in the war in Iraq by creating a drawing depicting British Prime Minister Tony Blair and his wife Cherie naked.

“I suddenly felt overcome with anger at the way Blair has messed up,”Artist Michael Sandle said. 

“There he was, elected by a huge majority, and he has allowed his vanity to destroy it all.”

The work, in charcoal and chalk, is based on medieval paintings of Adam and Eve being banished from the Garden of Eden. The centre of the drawing shows Tony and Cherie blair on the steps of their residence, 10 Downing Street, and side panels show Iraqi civilians being abused by British troops.

The art work is the centrepiece of the Royal
Academy’s Summer Exhibition.

 Michael Saddle, not happy with his PM

 Blair sporting a trendy mullett

Jokes’ on Hilton, in jail life.

 

MORE! MORE MORE!

Go to.

thecrazynews.wordpress.com

 

US socialite Paris Hilton began serving her Los Angeles jail sentence for violating probation Sunday night, her lawyer says.

Hilton turned herself in at the Men’s Central Jail in downtown Los Angeles just after 10:30 p.m., then was escorted to the all women’s facility in Lynwood, where she was booked, fingerprinted, photographed, medically screened and issued an orange top and pants

Earlier Sunday evening, Hilton attended the MTV Movie Awards near Hollywood, where she was the butt of comedians’ jokes, including a few jabs from Sarah Silverman (video) , which made Paris visibly unnerved, and left Jack Nicholson cracking up.

Hilton’s booking photo showed the heiress wearing what appeared to be a V-neck shirt, eye makeup and lip gloss that highlighted a slight smile. Her long blond hair was draped over one shoulder.

  The photo you will see on the front cover of  Tuesdays paper.

Paris will take her meals in her cell and will be allowed outside the 12-by-8-foot space for at least an hour each day to shower, watch TV in the day room, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone. No cell phones or BlackBerrys are permitted in the facility, even for visitors.

The jail, a two-story concrete building next to train tracks and beneath a bustling freeway, has been an all-female facility since March 2006. It’s located in an industrial area about 12 miles southeast of downtown Los Angeles.

“I did have a choice to go to a pay jail,” Hilton said Sunday, without giving details. “But I declined because I feel like the media portrays me in a way that I’m not and that’s why I wanted to go to county, to show that I can do it and I’m going to be treated like everyone else. I’m going to do the time, I’m going to do it the right way.” Vote: Will Paris survive her 23 day stay in jail?

See more stories at

http://www.thecrazynews.wordpress.com

Hot dog! Cracking the old Chestnut.

 

A California man has smashed the world record for hot-dog eating, gobbling up more than 59 franks in 12 minutes. Joey Chestnut surpassed the record of 53 3/4 hot dogs — held for six years by Takeru Kobayashi of Japan.

The 22-year-old set the record Saturday in Arizona in a regional qualifier for Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island, N.Y. Chestnut will now be able to face off against Kobayashi at the July 4 championship.”These guys’ numbers have just been going up at a tremendous clip,” said contest spokesman Ryan Nerz.

 ”I always thought there was a limit — a limit to the human stomach and a limit to human willpower.

Chestnut admits he will have to strain his body to win at the New York title event. “I’m going to keep pushing my body and maybe I can beat him (Kobayashi),” Chestnut said

 

Chestnut ready to blow in a previous hot dog eating comp…”Bbbluu..”

Judging by the way Kobayashi slams down those dogs, the strain is going to have to be severe.

Robot to guard school from ‘outsider seduction’

 A robot is to be deployed as a security guard at a South Korean school in what its creators claim is a world first.  

The robot, dubbed OFRO, will be posted at a Seoul middle school to test its potential before going on sale.Makers DU Robo said it could be used to alert staff to attempts by outsiders to seduce students.

“One possible scenario is that OFRO will alert officials when it detects someone trying to seduce a student,” the firm’s CEO Kang Jung-Won said.

Teachers could then either warn the offender through a loudspeaker or send human security guards.The firm claims it is the first time a robot has been used to guard an educational institution.“After going through the feasibility test, we (will) look to commercialise the feature-rich OFRO that retails at around $US100,000 as a school guardian,” said Kang.

OFRO moves at a leisurely maximum of five kph (three mph) and can either patrol pre-programmed routes or be manually controlled. It has a camera and microphone link to teachers or a security firm.

Cock out, tit in.

 Vistit http://www.thecrazynewsblog.com for more wacky stories!

The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds in the UK has banned the word cock from its website. Visitors to the site found that cock had been replaced with asterisks, however the species, tit, remains.

“As bird lovers will know, a Parus Major is a great tit and while cocks do not get past the forum censor, tits do not cause offence. I’ve heard of PC but that is taking things too far,” said one web site user.

 A worker claimed the word had been replaced because of software filters but an RSPB spokesman said it preferred to describe birds as either male or female.

People eat more when watching Letterman, Leno.

 

Chin meet Daddy.

The more entertaining the program, the more youre likely to eat. That’s according to research presented in Canada by Dr Alan Hirsch from Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago.

Dr Hirsch explored the impact of smell, taste and eating behaviours on people while watching TV by measuring potato chip consumption.

45 volunteers ate as many chips as they wanted during five-minute intervals over three-week periods while they watched monologues by late-night US talk show hosts David Letterman and Jay Leno.

Dr Hirsch found people ate an average of 44 per cent more chips while watching Letterman and 42 per cent more while viewing Leno, than when they did not watch TV. Clearly proving that David Letterman is more entertaining.

“If you can concentrate on how the food tastes you’ll eat less because you’ll feel full faster… so if that’s the case, let’s look at the opposite. What if you’re distracted? If you’re distracted, in theory, then you’d eat more,” Dr Hirsch said  

Many studies have linked obesity to watching television and that link is likely due to inactivity, Dr Hirsch said. But perhaps entertaining shows are also contributing.

“If you want to lose weight, turn off the television or watch something boring,” he said.

So switching off Jay and David for less entertaining programming might just be the new weight loss fad. You heard it here first.

   Mmmm, salty snacks.