Happy 16th! Kids get drama class sex show treat.

“You’ve been a bad little boy”

Ahh yes, corporal punishment, the corner stone of any half decent educational institution.

And for one lucky young man and good spanking was just what mother ordered indeed.

It was half way through a drama lesson for the kids at upper-middle class Arnold High School in Nottingham, England. It was almost lunch time.

A mother for one of the students had organized a 16th “birthday surprise” for her son, and requested for it (a gorillagram) to be filmed so the family could enjoy the youths reaction. How sweet.

What could be better than an underpaid college student in a gorilla suit singing your son happy birthday?

The Daily Mail has an eyewitness account:

“The teacher suddenly announced: ‘Something is about to happen’.

Then a woman in a very short skirt walked in dressed as a copper.

“She asked the lad to stand up, which he did, and told him he had been a very naughty boy because he hadn’t been doing his homework.

“Then she put on some Britney Spears music and got out a collar and led from her bag and told him to put them on.

“No one could believe it. Next she ordered him to get on all fours, led him around the classroom and hit him 16 times – one for each year – on the bottom with her whip.

“Then she took off some clothes until she was down to her bra and pants, pulled out some cream, put it on her buttocks and told him to rub it in.

“To be fair to the teacher, you could tell she was just stunned – and when

the cream came out she told the stripper: ‘That’s it. That’s enough’.”

The teenager said the boy ran out of the classroom while the stripper calmly packed her bag and left.

“Everyone was in a state of shock,” added the source.

“Apparently the boy’s mum arranged the whole thing. But all she wanted to do was embarrass him with a little bit of fun.

“She thought she had booked something like a gorilla to chase him around the classroom. She certainly didn’t expect anything like this.

“Apparently minutes before the stripper turned up the mum told the teacher something was going to happen and gave her a camera to film it all.”

A spokesman for the school would only say yesterday: “There was an incident, we are aware of it, and it is being dealt with.”

Best 16th Birthday ever. The young lad was last seen running off to the boys toilets, for what exactly we can only speculate. 

Snake eats pussy for breakfast.

Le snake, containing fur balls.

Talk about making a meal of it.

“When I came out of the house the cat’s legs were hanging out of its mouth”

That’s what January Clay, a resident of Australians northern state of Queensland said she saw after she let her pet cat explore outside her home for half an hour.

The mouth she was talking about belonged to a 3 meter long python that was clearly in a mood for food around the 5am hour, when Ms Clay let her cat roam outside.

And despite the loss of her beloved pet cat, talking from her Cairns home, February was philosophical about her loss. I mean January.

The Cains Post:

it’s just nature, he was just doing what he normally does. My cat was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

The python eventually left of its own accord.

Ms Clay’s attitude is in stark contrast with some other Cairns residents, who have recently played a role in bludgeoning several native species including pythons and a crocodile to death.

Tropical Wildlife Protection president Anthea McAllan applauded Ms Clay’s actions.

I definitely do commend her for not doing anything to the snake,” Ms McAllan said. “They’ve got their place in the ecosystem and it’s important that we respect that.”

She said the best thing to do was to keep cats indoors or build a snake proof enclosure to avoid such a tragic event.

Beer. The Greatest Liquid Ever?

Forget after exercise energy drinks, those so called fast hydrating fluids, for goodness sake, forget water! Forget everything you were ever taught in regards to the consumption of liquids.

The best thing you can do to overcome that well earned, well desired, thrist….is down yourself a bottle of fresh beer.

Yes, beer. B-E-E-R.

A dedicated team of Spanish scientist from Granada University said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. Yes, I repeat. Drinking a beer after physical activity can be BENEFICIAL for the body, even more so than water. Yes, BETTER THAN WATER! H2o baby!

Reports UPI.com

Professor Manuel Garzon, who led the study, said the bubbles in beer can help quench thirst and the carbohydrates in the beverage can help make up for burned calories.

The study involved a group of students asked to perform strenuous activities at a temperature of about 104 degrees Fahrenheit. Half of the students were given a pint of beer after their exercise and half were given a pint of water. Garzon said the hydration affect on the beer drinkers was “slightly better” than the sober group.

Juan Antonio Corbalan, a cardiologist who has worked with Real Madrid football players and Spain’s national basketball team, told The Telegraph he has long recommended beer to professional sportsmen after exhausting activities, as the drink is optimal for rehydrating the body.

If ever you needed a better excuse. If ever!

You can get it any old how…..

As a matter of fact. I’ve got it now…..

Poo in curry wife: Like “an episode of Desperate Housewives”.

When 47 year old Jill Martin suspected her husband was having an affair with another woman, she decided to strike back with the oldest trick in the book. Dog poo curry. 

…after placing the dinner in front of her husband Donald and watching him start to eat it, Martin had burst out laughing.

At first she claimed she had laced the dish with arsenic but then confessed she had added dog excrement instead.

The court heard that the couple had been married for 21 years but in recent years their relationship “had hit an all time low”.

Speaking in her defence, solicitor Terry Gallanagh said that the case was like ‘an episode of Desperate Housewives’.

Yummmm….

Following her arrest for the incident, Martin was banned from going anywhere near her husband or their home in Scotland.

The couple have now begun divorce proceedings.

How romantic.

Source: BBC

What do you mean I can’t join the Mile High Club in style?

Ohh yeah, looks inviting doesn’t it?

If there ever was a easier and more comfortable way to join the famous mile high club, this would be it. On one of the 12 private suites containing double beds, tucked away in the first class area of the new Airbus A380.

I mean surley if you are going to pay the $14,320 price tag for two tickets in one of the suggestive suites, a little hanky panky here or there with a fellow traveler could be tolerated? A blind eye could be turned perhaps?

Well, according to the ultimate kill joys, the owners of the first delivered superjumbo’s, Singapore Airlines, sex on the plane is banned without question.

“All we ask of customers, wherever they are on our aircraft, is to observe standards that don’t cause offence to other customers and crew,” the airline said in a statement.

Outrageous!

Indeed, one of the first passengers to fly the superjumbo from Singapore to Sydney recently was amused that the airline had created such a suggestible atmosphere in the luxury cabins.

“So they’ll sell you a double bed and give you privacy and endless champagne and then say you can’t do what comes naturally?” Tony Elwood, who travelled with wife Julie in a suite aboard the inaugural flight, told the Times of London.

“They seem to have done everything they can to make it romantic, short of bringing round oysters,” Julie said. “I’d say they shouldn’t really complain, should they?”

What the hell else are oysters for? Geeze.

See the Singapore Air A380 experience here, not that you would want to fly with them after this outrage.

And if you happen to score an A380 first class seat some time, be sure to make the most of it, what are they gonna do throw you off….